Friday, May 2, 2014

Tales From the Bridge II

I got in line in a good mood tonight. No, a great mood. It's Friday, I'm going out with friends tonight, it's Friday. Did I mention that it's Friday? Good times. The line was long, which is normal for a Friday. But the evening quickly took a turn for the worse. 

Several lanes of traffic flow into two lanes going Southbound onto the Bridge of the Americas. Cars are coming from I-10, US-54 and Paisano. The 54 is my chosen route because you have less issues with people trying to cut in front of you in line. However, people do still try to cut in line, and it creates an extremely dangerous situation. I've actually been a part of an accident at this very spot that sent a little girl flying out of her seat and into the windshield. To cut into the line from the 54, you have to stop your vehicle. In the middle of a freeway. With cars rushing up to you at 60 mph.

Let that marinate for a minute.

So tonight, I have this genius in front of me who is leaving a good 15 ft between her and the car in front of her at all times. Whatever lady. We'll that slide. Then someone stops in the middle of the freeway up ahead to try and cut in the line. The traffic coming up behind is having to slam their brakes or swerve around the guy. This dude is a good 5 cars ahead of the lady in front of me at this point, but what does she do? She stops, waits to let the person cut. Okay, maybe it's a friend of hers. That's cool. 

Then she does it again. Every car behind me is honking repeatedly at this woman and she looks at me in her review mirror making weird faces like I'm insane. Surely she couldn't think I was making all that noise on my own? When she did it for the third time and someone had to slam on their breaks barely avoiding a collision with yet another person cutting I absolutely lost it. 

I did one of those loooooong hard honks. Yeah, this time it was me, lady. Did you hear that? And then she stopped advancing at all, probably just trying to be cute, as everyone behind us continued to honk.


Looking back, this is one of those moments where I do something I completely regret, but just couldn't help myself at the time. 

I yell at her. Aggressively. At the top of my lungs. En Español.

What is your problem lady?! You are going to cause an accident!! It's not my problem that you don't have anywhere to go but that doesn't mean you need to piss off everyone else or cause a bunch of accidents!!


Normal people would have just flipped her off. But I wanted her to understand why we were all honking because clearly she wasn't getting it. Even though I was embarrassed for losing my cool, I have to admit, I felt much better getting all that off my chest. I grabbed my phone and posted something on Facebook about how idiots bring out the worst in me when the lady sticks her phone out the window and starts taking pictures of me. This is where the regret started to sink in because maybe this chick is certifiable and is going to hunt me down, chop me up into bits in a basement and put me in her Christmas tamales. My mind wanders.

To avoid letting it wander too far, I spent the rest of the time in line on the phone with my husband, planning our weekend and whatnot. By the time I reached the US checkpoint to leave the country, I was already over the whole thing. But this women, all 10 gallons of crazy in a 1 gallon bucket, decides to continue with her insane behavior. She waives 3 officers over to her car and has a conversation that I, of course, could not hear. 

One of the agents comes over to me with a smile and asks if there's a problem. 

"Apparently there is. This woman was letting everyone come in off the 54 and cut in front of her in line and it was causing other drivers on the freeway to have to slam on their brakes. This caused myself and everyone behind me in line to start honking at her. I yelled out the window at her and then she started taking pictures of me and now here we are, taking up your time and causing everyone to wait in line even longer."

The other two officers come over to my car at this point stating that the lady is scared because I was honking at her for no particular reason over and over and that I took a picture of her.

You have got to be kidding me.

I produced my phone for all of the CBP agents as the people behind us continued to honk their horns incessantly in desperation. Here's my camera roll, no pictures to be found. And why would I want a picture of the back of this nut job's car anyway? They didn't even care to look at my phone. Two of the agents went back to speak with the woman a bit more and the other agent and I chatted for a bit. When can Raymundo come back to the US? 2020. Oh man, that's a long time. I know, hey listen, I'm so sorry we're wasting your time like this. Don't worry, happens all the time.

I really hope that somehow this young lady comes across this blog and reads this: Mija, I did not take any pictures of you. You did, however, feel the need to take pictures of me for whatever reason, but I could care less. Not sure if you just wanted to play the poor victim with Border Patrol, but you don't have to be afraid of me. However, if you keep acting like such an idiot, I would assume you will regularly encounter people in your lifetime that you will need to be afraid of.

End rant.


Happy Friday?


  1. I hope she sees it here to learn that shit (taking pictures with her cell phone of some perceived incident) can get her some serious injury with the wrong person...

    For the benefit of those unfamiliar with crossing, you stay tight-tight-tight with the car in front of you. Do you let people in? Sure, at your discretion and if they ask nicely. Really, it's all for the efficiency, and people just have to learn to be equal.

    1. Exactly! I wish I could take the second part of your comment, make it into a big sign in Spanish and English, and plaster it all over the POEs.

  2. Today I had that same experience crossing over, black SUV with Mexican tags on. Sometimes I just can't deal! Hope you got home safe!

    1. Normally I am fine in line nowadays.. But it's crap like this that just gets me going!

  3. This is exactly why everybody should have paint ball guns mounted to their vehicles. When drivers do stupid things, their vehicle will have enough paintball marks on them and the police can issue tickets because fellow drivers have spoken!

  4. I have seen those line going back into Mexico. I can not imagine driving over everyday. God Bless You

  5. Some folks just shouldn't drive. This lady is a prime example.