Saturday, September 21, 2013

Defense

Someone recently commented on a Facebook post of mine saying that it's too bad I act like my life in Juarez is an adventure or a movie of the week. Said that I have a safety net in that I can always come back to the US and that no matter what happens I will be safe. They also said that I will never know what it means to live in an oppressed and murderous country. I wonder how long one has to live in an oppressed murderous country to know what it's like to live in an oppressed murderous country?

Like I told this reader, I've woken up to dead bodies on the sidewalk in front of my home. Lost one of our closest family friends to gang violence in Parral. Seen a man shot dead in the chest on the corner by my best friend's apartment. Had to listen to my husband fearfully recall what happened when he was jumped in El Centro for taking a picture of the cathedral. Comfort a close friend after she was forced to listen to a family be murdered in the house behind hers. Listen to our neighbor cry with agony when they found her kidnapped daughters head in a field a mile down the road. And so on and so on. But I choose to look at the good in life, and not dwell on the violence and homicides. I choose to write my blog about the positive aspects of life in Juarez because there's already enough people out there talking about the negatives. Not to mention, laughter is my survival mechanism. Also, I'm well aware that I am beyond blessed to be a US citizen and be able to reap all the benefits that it entails, but if I used the US as my safety net, I wouldn't have left it in the first place. Living apart from my husband is not an option for me.

This discussion was followed by another person saying they agreed with the original comment, and adding a whole new slew of opinions. I was told that his Mexican family members thought my blog was a joke and that my posts are insulting. That I only tell one side of the story and that I make my husband look like a fool and it's an insult to all Mexican men. He didn't forget to put a little cherry on top at the end by saying that my husband "only survives because of the graces of the Super Heroic White Woman," and that Mexican women find my blog infuriating.

Well.

I'd direct you back to my Facebook page to witness the plane crash, but some of the comments have been deleted by their authors. I found these comments puzzling, and the second quite offensive. It made me feel as though some people who are reading this blog may be getting the wrong impression. These aren't the first people to give me their opinions or call me out on my blog. And up until now, I didn't mind the criticism. People have told me that I have horrible writing technique. I've been told that I swear too much. I drink too much. I'm a horrible person because my son doesn't live with me. My writing doesn't flow. I should talk more about this. I should talk more about that. Those emails come in on the regular and I don't really let them bother me. However, the idea that I am somehow insulting all of Latin America is something I can't just sit back and shake my head about. I have to defend myself. Actually, I haven't felt so defensive since I wrote 25 Things I Love About My Ham Sandwich.

I'm not really sure where to start in my response to all of this, so I guess I'll start with the statement that I "only tell one side of the story." I know I speak highly of Juarez while the press and cartels tear it shreds. But let's be real. Would me talking about all the gory details day in and day out change anything or benefit anyone? Is there a lack of bad news about Mexico? Would I be shedding light on a situation that no one knows about? There is a reason why I don't share all of the bad things that we've encountered since we moved to Juarez. I have blogged a bit about it here and there, however, my aim has never been to do some sort of expose on the (once) murder capital of the world. If you are looking for something along those lines, go check out Charles Bowden or Judith Torrea. I respect and admire their work, but quite frankly, that's not the story I'm trying to tell.

What I am doing, in case it hasn't been made clear, is trying to survive in my own way. This blog isn't about Juarez. It's not about the drug war or NAFTA or the missing women. It's about love and personal growth and patience and assimilation and appreciation. It should also be said that I am not a spokesperson for Juarez. My life does not represent the life of a typical Juarense. I do not represent Juarez. I am just Emily.

With that being said, I think someone can live in Juarez and not really know what it's like for most of the people here. And maybe that's where I am misunderstood. It's no secret that there are wealthy people in this city, who live in their fresa-Pronaf-club-bubble, and have no clue how the rest of the city suffers. But even that is far fetched because in this drug war, there really are no safe zones. You could live in Campestre or you could live in Anapra, but just a couple short years ago, neither group was safe from the bloodshed. Even united by violence, the city is still divided by social classes. And because of that, and my middle class American upbringing, it would be impossible for me to represent either group. Of course I will never know what it is like to be born outside of the US and to have so many unmet needs, but does that automatically make me entitled or unaware of the bigger picture in life?

Too bad I act as if this is an adventure, a movie of the week.

Yeah that is too bad, isn't it? If only I ran around crying all day and talking about all the tragedies in this country, things would be better. Give me a break. Sometimes I feel like people would prefer me to run around wailing about how horrible life is in Juarez and how I have been dealt a bad hand because I somehow ended up in this "shit hole."  I can't figure out what that would accomplish, but so many people seem to think that's the way I should act. I can't wrap my head around that.

I also can't wrap my head around the fact that people seem to think I've saved my husband or done him some huge favor by marrying him. Heroic white woman? What the fuck? I'd like to think that these people don't actually read my blog. I'd like to think that anyone who has read all the blogs I've written about my husband wouldn't be capable of making such an asinine, flippant remarks. I'd really like to think that. For anyone who hasn't stumbled upon those blogs, let me say it again. Hopefully everyone hears me this time.

"I didn't settle for anyone. My husband is the man of my dreams and I don't deserve him. Even if you considered every good thing I've ever done in my lifetime and ignored the horrible, selfish and inexplicable things, the math just doesn't add up. I am difficult, emotional and overly passionate about irrelevant subjects. I fly off the handle without reason. I drink too much. I have a multi-colored past and am disgustingly indulgent. I am an obsessive addict. Even though I came from a middle class American family, I'm a spoiled brat. Maybe that's because I came from a middle class American family? I have a short temper and am beyond demanding. I'm an uptight, impatient, over-analytical hypocrite. And somehow, regardless of all of that, Mr. Cruz loves me. He adores me. He is proud of me and thoroughly enjoys me as a person. My husband didn't "luck out" to meet me. I am a better person because he has come into my life. For some reason, God put him in my path. This has nothing to do with green cards or money or citizenship. The price of me is much too high for abusers because I am 3 gallons of crazy in a 2 gallon bucket my friends. I'm the lucky one. I'm the one who is hard to love..."

Yet again, as frustrating as those flippant remarks about Ray were, I was most offended by the comment that I insult Latinos and that my blog angers Mexican women. That's really the main reason I felt compelled to write this blog today and address the comments at all. I'm not going to lie, this has consumed my mind all week. I spent far too much time digging through my blog archives and posts on Facebook and Twitter trying to figure out how I had managed to upset an entire race of people. I asked the gentleman twice if he could tell me how exactly this blog infuriates Mexican women but he did not respond. I guess the idea that I was offending an entire group of people that I just spent the last 3 years falling in love with just hit me a little hard. No, really hard.

I think I'm pretty tough when it comes to criticism because I have a lot of defects and I know it. But this was just too much for me. I've been trying to superarlo for most of the week and I think I'm almost there. Some wise words from my Mexican and Mexican-American friends helped immensely and a random email from a first generation Chicana reader who told me she was hooked to my blog and gave me her prayers and support certainly helped as well. So I want to thank those people for their assurance and comforting words. It meant a lot to me.

I guess at the end of the day, we all have to remember that the Internet has this really cool feature you can use if you don't like what you're reading. It's that little X in the upper right hand corner. All you have to do is drag your cursor over that bad boy and click. Magia!

74 comments:

  1. Your life is an adventure and would make an interesting movie of the week. Así es. Don't ever change.

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  2. Emily, please don't let these comments get to you. They obviously did not read the entire blog. I, on the other hand, have. You speak of your husband as if you are undeserving and it is apparent how much you respect and admire him. You have offended an entire race? Common, did they take a damn poll or something? If they did, they forgot to ask my husband and best friend, they love your blog. Give me a fucking break. Your blog is uplifting and hilarious, while at the same time serious when you feel like something is unjust or you are just a bit moody. It is unfiltered.

    You try to make the best of your situation and you genuinely love Juarez despite the obvious problems. If you did have a blog full of whines, not many people would read it.

    In my opinion, these were just a few racist people looking for shit to complain about. Please don't start to filter what you say, because that is what makes your blog so awesome...you just write what you think. This girl appreciates it. Oh, and I hope I don't get any comments about how my comment did not flow well. I know it didn't...that is what happens when you speak from the heart.

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    1. Thanks Tasia! And no worries, I won't be filtering myself anytime soon. Really, I don't even know if I would be capable of doing so :)

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  3. It's the Internet. Welcome to the land of trolls and asshats. Your post certainly makes your case and in spite of your thick skin, I'd say you have every right to defend yourself. Now let the trolls move on to their next target.

    I for one appreciate your point of view and your writing style. If that's a result of a little too much drinking, (on your part or mine) so be it!

    Write on, Emily!

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    1. Thanks Dave... I know how the trolls can be but it was just the whole race card that really got to me. Too bad those fuckers don't have a gemstone on their belly buttons so we can see them coming from a distance!

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  4. As you know I rarely comment, but this actually brought tears of anger to my eyes and the sudden urge to grab my virtual baseball bat and start kicking internet ass. Do not stop what you are doing. You are 100% right in that there is enough negativity around, it is a breath of fresh air to read someone who is making the best of a shitty situation instead of whining about it every day. I love you and your blog. Do not change a damn thing.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer! And thanks for taking the time to comment. I don't do it much myself but it was certainly appreciated <3

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  5. As a fellow american woman living in Juarez I want to thank you for your blog. I first came across it back in January of this year. My husband and I were contemplating moving to Juarez from Chihuahua because in October it would have been the five years he was barred from entering the U.S. I spent 3 hours reading your blog and to this day I thank God for letting me come accross your blog. Because of you I've been living happily in Juarez. Please dont ever change. You have a wonderful way of writing and well there always has to be a hater.

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    1. I am so glad you were able to make it work in Juarez. That's amazing and I'm proud to have been a part of that. Take care and thank you!

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  6. I think you're amazing, brave, funny and I love reading your blog. I found your blog through TAL my fiancee (from Michoacán) and I were in the car on our way out to dinner and we couldn't get out of the car until the story was over. It made us have a discussion during dinner we'd been avoiding for years. "What if?" "What if he's picked up and sent back to Mexico?" What would I do? What would he do? Would I be brave enough to live in Mexico with him until he can come back here? Would I bring his kids back and forth to visit. (We don't have kids he has two teenagers from his ex.) While we still don't know, I thank you for opening our eyes to the realities.

    Don't let anyone tell you that you don't have any right to tell your story. Don't let anyone make you feel your humor makes your life a joke. It's your reality, it's your story. I think the laughs you and your husband share just goes to show what love you two have for each other, you took a situation, and you both coped, you can still smile, love and laugh.

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    1. Thank you Jules! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the piece and that it made you start the "what if" discussion. I think that it's such an important discussion to have when you are in a relationship with someone who is undocumented. There has to be a plan in place just in case they are ever detained. I know it sucks to have to think of such a horrible thing and I hope you never have to put your plan into place but it's just one of those must-have conversation. Best of luck to you and your fiancee.

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  7. Haters are going to hate, so keep doing your thing Emily. I have enjoyed reading about immigration from an ordinary woman. If people don't like the way your write your narrative, they can find won't that suits taste. -Irene

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  8. Carmen Perez yo soy una India Mexicana Chicana and I find your blog revolting. You do not know anything. You want sympathy from the gringo community by selling your Mexican husband. Shame on you!

    From the immortal words of Frida Kahlo, "Go back to gringolandia"!

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    1. That's not what she's asking for, and that's not what she's doing. I find your mis-interpretation of her blog "revolting." Everyone should be allowed to tell their story. Shame on YOU Carmen Perez for disrespecting her family and her husband.

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    2. Si muy India Mexicana Chicana. Muy fucking proud Carmen Perez. First of all why are you fucking judging people. You have no right. Secondly I find YOU revolting. Emily speaks from the heart and she speaks for all of us who like her, want to keep our family together. She lifts my spirits everytine I'm down because I live Juarez and the rest of my family is in Cali? I'm proud of her for sharing something so personal because I dont have the huevos to speak up. Y yo soy Alejandra Cervantes, tampoco anonymous!! Para que lo sepas TU!!

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    3. If you find it so revolting Ms. Perez then why are you reading it? Shame on you for a being a judgemental hypocrite.

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    4. Carmen, what you are is a fucking troll. Your Facebook profile photo was taken from Reddit. Piss off.

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    5. Carmen (if that is your real name), your point has merit, but your delivery is bad.

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  9. yo soy Carmen Perez, yo no soy anonymous para que sepas

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  10. I love your blog and I've directed several friends here, friends who are not even part of a family immigration community. I think you have an amazing story, and I think the "haters" who comment here and on Facebook hate something bigger than your blog and bigger than you, but you're the target they can hit right now. Chin up, write your screenplay, and move forward.

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    1. I think you have a good point. Thank you and no worries, I'm already over it.

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  11. Hola Emily,
    Yo soy una mujer Mexicana, y no me has ofendido. Carmen does not speak for all of us. sometimes it's hard to see ourselves thru somebody else's eyes. LA verdad no mata, pero incomoda. I'm not saying that I agree with everything you say ALL of the time, but you are entitled to your opinion... just like she's is entitled to hers. Animo, no te preocupes por todo lo que diga la gente. Take the good, and throw away the bad, como decimos en Sinaloa, mándalos por un tubo. It's YOUR life, YOUR opinion, if someone doesn't like it, they can go read someone else's blog :-)
    Bety de Sinaloa

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  12. if those people don't like what you say--why then do they read what you say??
    I do enjoy your thoughts....I have no frame of reference even close to you-but love your style, honesty, and optimism.
    say what you want --your thoughts are yours...and as such they are valid and worthy....

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  13. You know, they're probably just wrong, whoever said you offended this whole group of people. You can say anything without evidence. Trollers just feed on you caring what they say. You don't have to believe them. I love your blog. I think they're jealous of you.

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  14. emily I dont even know why you took the time and effort to adress this "person" mejor digo esta persona que es una imbecil how dare she comment on something she has no clue of.i just want you to know im blaming you for my happiness for being able to enjoy a movie with my husband and kids all as a family even if its here in juarez asi que no le agas caso a personas que comentan mal avemos muchos que te apoyamos se te quiere amiga.

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    1. Thanks amiga! I'm so happy it's working out for you here and espero que todo va bien en el trabajo. I got your text but haven't had service to respond. Hugs <3

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  15. No les hagas caso... there are so many haters on the internet it's ridiculous. It's gotten to the point where you can't even read the comments for a youtube video about birds or mozart. People are fighting, trolling, crying "racist!", actually being racist, having political fights and saying "shame on you" about whole milk versus 2%. I always feel a little dirty after reading internet comments because they just get so trashy and MEAN. The last time this happened was just a couple days ago regarding comments on what i had THOUGHT was a completely and utterly non-controversial website. Wrong, apparently. So if people can find controversy in the least expected places, of course they'll find it when you openly share about your marriage that crosses racial, national, and cultural boundaries, and your experience living abroad. If you don't say exactly what they feel or want you to say, it's time for the rage to come pouring out. Even if you said NOTHING there are some people who might judge you just for being white and marrying a latino. If you make Juarez sound bad they'll judge - if you make juarez sound good, they'll judge. It's so absurd. You can't please everyone and that's not what you're here to do anyway (you're here to write updates that i enjoy, preferably with photos, and always keepin'it real). Stay strong! -Sarah

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    1. Haha, you are so right! Who knew milk could be controversial?! Ni modo. I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Thanks for your support Sarah.

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  16. I read your blog because what you write is heartfelt, genuine, and interesting. I am commenting because I want to cancel out someone else's negative comment. Keep doing what you want to do!

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  17. I think there's some truth to the idea that it is very difficult to ever fully know the experience of being Mexican (or American, or any nationality for that matter) without being that yourself. I say this after having lived in Mexico for two years with my Mexican fiance. There are still times where things come up and I get sort of a kick in the pants and realize that I approach our life with my own lens, and that's not reality for many many others. But I'd venture to assert that I have a far better idea of the Mexican experience than my fiance has of the U.S., given that he's not spent time there. In the end it doesn't matter because the aim is to be together and to live one's life, not stand up as a perfect model for anyone else's judgment. For the record, the negative realities that the Facebook poster mentioned obviously do exist, as you know, but at least in my case I take comfort in the words I read in blogs like yours. Thanks for sharing. :)

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    1. I agree. There is no way I could ever know what it's like to be Mexican and I have never claimed to know. I can't even begin to understand really. I'm not sure what stemmed this backlash but it is what it is. I'm glad that you've been able to find comfort in this blog. Take care.

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  18. "Living apart from my husband is not an option for me."
    Emily, your powerful statement is all I needed to read to believe in what you’re doing.
    Due to their miserable, insignificant little lives, haters are always going to hate no matter what. You have to ignore them and keep on doing what you do best. I find your writing to be entertaining, educational and very real. The fact that you have detractors is indication that you are doing the right thing. If you weren’t making such an important impact, people wouldn’t give a rat’s ass as to who you are. Your frustration with the haters reminds me of Neil Simon’s semi-autographical play, “Biloxi Blues.” (Made into a 1988 hit movie starring Matthew Broderick) Set during WWII, protagonist, Eugene Morris, is busted by his best friend, Arnold, for writing in his memoir that he suspects his friend might be gay. When Eugene frantically apologizes and tells his friend that he’ll change the writing, Arnold doesn’t get upset. Instead he gives him some sound advice by saying: “Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.”
    So there you have it Emily. Don’t appease your critics by compromising your writing to suit their jealous desires to bring you down to their level. You're better than that. Good luck.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words and you can be sure that I will not compromise my writing to please some random trollers. Take care.

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  19. Both your blog and the radio diary I recently discovered are terrific. I admire and appreciate your ability to find humor in the challenges of everyday life and your life specifically.

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  20. Carmen Perez has a valid criticism. The wife from Juarez has a valid right to her story. This a classic ancient Greek dilemma. Cecilia

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    1. Everyone has a right to their opinion, that's for sure.

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  21. http://www.mailxmail.com/curso-dialogo-frida-kahlo-horacio-quiroga-selva-como-escenario-modernidad/kahlo-ciudad-pesadilla-gringolandia-2

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  22. I love reading your blog and I am so glad to have found it. Write on.

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  23. Hi Emily,
    I heard your story on This American Life and I adored you immediately. I've read most of your blog, you a fine writer, better than most and I read a lot. There are not many people or writers that are able to live in such a strange and unfair scene and bring such humor and grace to to the topic. I am terribly amused and saddened in each sentence, really almost everything you recount is fairly astonishing and real and well written. You have made myself and others I've shared this blog with very aware of an unjust system. I'm hooked, your bookmarked...Your awesome and I wish you had a bigger stage... Your husband sounds like an amazing man, it it quite obvious how much you love and respect him. You both seem like high quality individuals and I look forward to following your journey...WRITE MORE...DO MORE RADIO...GOOD LUCK...YOUR FREAKING GREAT!

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  24. oh my!!!! and here I thought this was just a blog!

    ok, WTF???? of course it's one sided, it's a blog, not a documentary. This is just your opinion, your life, your experiences... or am I missing something? just like any other reader, I read your blog because I want to. No one is forcing me.

    Let me tell you, I am a MEXICAN WOMAN, born in D.F., raised in Tijuana and now living in the U.S., and I am not offended one bit by your blog... or your language, shit I find it refreshing & honest.

    I married a Mexican and dealt with the immigration issue. It sucks. I commuted to Tijuana from L.A. every weekend for 15 months, and had a hard time. I was raised there, still have family there, I speak Spanish fluently, so my hat is off to all the men and women who make this situation work!

    I am no longer dealing with U.S. immigration crap, because I am no longer married to him. I don't live in Mexico any longer. I am not dealing with most of the issues you are, but I enjoy your blog and thank you for sharing YOUR perspective with those of us who WANT to read it.

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    1. Thank you. And I think that's really what's frustrating for me. It is just my blog. Just my little public diary. I never claimed to be a spokesperson for Juarez or for expats or anyone else. I'm glad you got that :)

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  25. Yikes. You have definitely been trolled. Yay for the internet, giving angry and unhappy people a place to anonymously abuse others for 30+ years... I doubt anything you wrote is true, but is definitely designed just to wound you. I have a friend who grew up in El Paso. His parents are immigrants from Mexico. When he was growing up, everyone used to go to Juarez to drink in the bars (and generally head over there all the time). Every El Paso high school school had their own designated bar. Anyway, he is by no means in denial about Juarez, but chooses only to tell stories about the good things there. Like you, he feels that there is enough BAD about Juarez circulating, and he'd rather highlight the things he loved there.

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    1. Thank you! And yes, if someone wants a daily homicide count, they can go pick up a copy of the PM.

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  26. Just because someone disagrees with her blog, it doesn't make them a hater. This is the playbook of the right wing. Call everyone who doesn't agree with you a hater.Just saying. I personally like this blog, Thank you. Real Housewife of Juarez

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    1. Okay, I am just going to say this one last thing, and then I'm done with it. I agree that if someone does not like my blog, that doesn't make them a hater. I agree 100%. Which is why in the past, when people have torn me to shreds via email about my blog, I never brought it up. These people are not saying they "disagree" with my blog. They are saying I am using my husband, that he is a disgraceful example of a Mexican man, that I infuriate Latinas, etc. These comments are directed towards my character and the character of my husband. They were not critiques about the quality of the blog or whether or not it is interesting to them. They were hateful insults towards myself and my husband. THAT is why I reacted, THAT is why you can see all of my readers coming to my defense and THAT is why people are so quick to yell "hater."

      Giving a critique about the subject matter or quality of my writing is what a critic would do. Telling me to "go back to Gringolandia," is what a hater would do.

      With that being said, I welcome critiques on this blog. I have no qualms with people who disagree with me, I in fact welcome it. You can ask any of my friends. I enjoy a good debate, even more so when I learn something and find out I was wrong. If you take the time to read my past blog comments you can see there are plenty of times that people disagree with me and I have always welcomed their opinions. However, I feel a little bit different about hateful comments that attack my character. After all, this is just a blog about my family's life, it's not a documentary or expose on Mexico or Juarez.

      And that is all I have to say about that.

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  27. Emily, I think you are awesome girl!! You show the good and the bad of Mexico. I lived there for 3 years and so want to go back. I am jealous, but only because I am not there with my husband. I love you and your blog! Don't let all of these people get to you.

    I think you are awesome! I have seen so many blogs come and go in the past few years since I found yours and a few others. Like I told you before, your blog is what gave me the strength to stick around in Mexico when my life felt like it was falling apart around me. I have to thank you for everything you have posted, the good, the funny, that bad, and the sad. You show life as real and not some fantasy land that certain people like to make it out to be.

    Keep ti up, Amiga!! Hugs

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    1. Awww thanks Steph! I know you're having a hard time being back in the States. Did you decide that's the plan long term?

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    2. We are not sure yet. I think it just all depends on how the visa process goes. if it takes too long, I will be back in Mexico. I am hoping it doesn't take as long as we expect.

      I will be going back to Mexico in December for the last 2 weeks of the year!! I can't wait. I wish I could go in November for our anniversary.

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    3. I hope it moves quickly for you amiga. I can't imagine how difficult it is to be apart so long :/

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  28. Hi Emily - I saw your story yesterday in the news and just wanted to let you know that as a Mexican woman, I do not find your comments or your convictions insulting nor are they demeaning to your husband. I strongly admire you for taking such a gutsy step and live in Ciudad Juarez. Many people in the US do not have a sense of what its like living in a city as Juarez, and you will encounter many people that just have a close mind and are not even interested in knowing your experience, because in their minds they have already decided without knowledge of fact. So just keep up the good work, may God bless you and your husband and please, keep on writing. Thanks for giving Juarez a fair chance. :)

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  29. I started reading your blog after listening to your segment on NPR's This American Life and was immediately hooked. (I actually went back to the very beginning and read each post!)

    You have an incredible way of expressing the hardship of change, relationships, friendships, finances, and cultural differences in such a real, yet positive, way.

    As a Mexican-American, as someone in love, as a person with money worries, as the daughter of a once-illegal immigrant, as a WOMAN, I find ways to relate to each of your posts.

    Stay positive. Ignore the haters - they're just sad about someone/something else.

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    1. Thank you! And thank you for going back and reading all the posts. I know it's a lot, and certainly too much to ask of people, but without reading it all, I don't think anyone can really understand this situation or me or what this blog is all about. Mil gracias :)

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  30. You know Emily, your lite is your life. I enjoy reading your blog and I can't wait to see it as a "movie of the week"! Valerie Bertenelli has to play you!!!!! People who have concern about your portrayal of Juarez and your husband talk to them and ask them why. They might show you a different side to your story. Don't hate. Love, love, love. Be leery of people who label people as HATERS. They want you to hate. Our Lord Jesus Christ said, LOVE EVERYONE

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    1. No worries, I don't hate. Only wrote the blog so that I can be better understood. And the readers labeling people as haters are just defensive. I don't think they want me to hate, so to speak, but many of them have been following my blog for years and have a lot of emotional investment in it because they have or are going through the same situation.

      Thanks for the comment and LOL on Valerie Bertenelli! :)

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  31. I saw this article today and thought of your review of The Bridge, http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9717676/as-season-1-fx-bridge-winds-author-lived-juarez-takes-issue-s-portrayal-border

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    1. Love, love, love this article. So much and on so many levels. And ademas, written by a journalist that I respect on so many levels. Thank you for emailing it to me this morning because I still hadn't read it!

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  32. https://twitter.com/AvoidComments

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  33. I love your candor. The love and esteem you have for your husband struck me immediately and it seems to shine through in all the posts I've read so far. Both of you are blessed to have found each other. I only started reading after the NPR show and though I can relate to your situation on some levels (I live outside the States and my husband is not a US citizen), the fact that you are so open about your struggles and your past that brought you to where you are now is so refreshing and deserving of respect. I can't speak for anyone but myself: I really enjoy what you write!

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  34. Oh my goodness!! I love your blog!! I think what those critical readers don't realize is that you aren't trying to push an agenda. You're telling the story of your life and sharing it with a larger audience. And, I'm sorry, but a life story isn't something that an audience can dictate to the person living it. I'm honored that you allow us glimpses into your life. Thank you for writing!

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  35. Emily, the internet can bring out the best and the worst in people. And comments added to a blog or article are often the worst. Those people who said Mexican women hate you--how do they know? My guess is, they are angry at the world for their own issues, and they are taking out their anger on your internet person. Don't give them a moment more of your brain power. They are not worth it. Take inspiration from the good comments, use constructive criticism when it's available, and ignore the bad. Life is too short to waste time on negative people.

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    1. My thoughts exactly. Thank you for your kind words Mimi!

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