I just took a cold shower because it's 109 degrees in Juarez and at that temperature the swamp cooler is starting to lose some of it's magic powers. I'm seriously irritated because for some reason, even the cold water smells like rotten eggs today and usually only the hot water does. It's Sunday evening and I don't want to work tomorrow or do the piles of laundry I have or clean the house or really have any responsibilities whatsoever. =) Is that so much to ask?
Too many dishes to wash? Too many loads of laundry? Oooh boo hoo my diamond shoes are too tight! :*( Yeah I had a moment. Time to move on. This is when I think about that leggless man in the parking lot at Mesa Drive and Basline... This is when I have remind myself that there are people out there with no dishes or clothes to wash, no washing machine to wash them in, or maybe no running water at all. I remember that 8 days after the winter freeze when we had no running water and were taking bucket baths and going to work smelling like pescado. And then I remind myself that 8 days is nothing. I remember that some people have to walk (shoeless?) for miles on end for a small container of water that isn't even safe to drink. Yeah, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
I am so happy to have come to a point in my life where I can think like this and talk myself out of the negativity. It's a powerful thing to be in control of your happiness. I didn't always feel so strong but at some point I had to stand up, tell all of those woe-is-me feelings to eff off and move on with my life. This comes into play a lot lately when I get down about our situation. The negative thoughts flow through my mind frequently. It may be because the line took extra long that day, or I went to some great restaurant that my husband would love but can't go to because it's in the US, or because somebody got their head chopped off on the corner.
This is when I have to smack myself in the face with reality. The reality is that I have a wonderful life. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate and clothes on my back. I have my best friend by my side and a great job and an amazing family. And let's be honest, there are worse places to live than Juarez. I've spent a lot of time building relationships with others who are affected by immigration and it is crystal clear that we are lucky to have a lifetime ban that is waiveable after 10 years as opposed to those who will never have a chance at a waiver. We are lucky that we are from 2 countries that share a border so we are even able to take a stab at this lifestyle.
I know a lot of people are getting sick of listening to my spiels on the power of positive thinking but tough cookies. You can thank my mother for teaching me all of this. She spent my entire life teaching me to be grateful for what I had and to be conscious of the bigger picture. She always made sure that we had enough, but not too much to the point where we didn't appreciate it. I can never repay her for that lesson. The result is this. Me. Me being okay here in Mexico, me realizing that this isn't the end of the world, or even close to it. Me growing from this entire experience! Thanks mom.