Saturday, June 22, 2013

¡Sola, Sola!

So last night I dropped my husband off at the Central Camionera. He went to visit his family in Hidalgo del Parral, Chihuahua. It's about 8 hours South of Juarez. He's gone a couple times each year since we moved to Mexico but for some reason I feel a little different this time.

On a completely different subject (yes it's the second paragraph and I'm already shifting gears) I was driving back to the house and there were Transitos everywhere. After some years in Mexico I seriously feel as though I have been traumatized by Transito because you could probably feed and clothe a small Haitian village on the mordidas I've paid alone. I was really distracted trying to drive as I hate driving down Tecnologico (or Super Mario Kart Rainbow Road as I like to call it) and I think I got all the way to the Tecate Ball (as Cortney calls likes to call it) before I started to cry.

It just hit me how much I really do love my husband. I know it sounds silly because for most people the simple fact that I moved to Juarez makes it pretty fucking clear that I'm in love, but I swear, sometimes I just forget. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I do. I think in any marriage you can get caught up in everyday annoyances or be worried about bills or the kids or random household issues, and simply forget why you said, "I do" in the first place. And let me tell you, I am easily annoyed. I want to be that laid-back, go-with-the-flow, type of person, but the truth is, I'm not.

I'm uptight and controlling and emotional and for some odd reason, Ray puts up with all of that. That's something I forget at times. Anyone who knows us well knows that we bicker and banter back and forth constantly; that's just how we are. I think that's why so it's easy for me to forget how much I love and appreciate him. I'm really sad that he's going to be gone for a week but I'm happy that he's getting the chance to see his family. Right when he gets back I will be going to Missouri to visit my family, including a lot of people from Illinois that I haven't seen in years and years.

It's really frustrating that we can't vacation together though. Ray can't go with me to the US and I obviously dedicate all of my vacation time to see my son and my family. Sam's my priority when it comes to "free time." Yet, it's equally irritating that we've been living in Mexico for about 3 years now and he's gone back to Parral several times and I never have the vacation time to join him. Before we moved here I honestly thought I'd be able to go all the time but it just can't happen. It sucks. I want to be a part of those visits and get to meet the rest of his family and see where he grew up but time and money just doesn't allow it. It's really frustrating.

It's definitely going to be a crazy week without my Gordito. I'm going to try to concentrate on sticking to my plan of exercise and eating healthfully... mejorando mi ser and what not. I'm also going to try my hardest not to get Jack Sparrow drunk like last weekend, but I can't make any promises. After all, it is me we're talking about here.

I really hope you are all doing well. I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much as usual but I am just really caught up with my new lifestyle. I work out every morning at 4 am and then 3 or 4 times a week I work out again in the afternoon after work so my time has just really been consumed with that. I will definitely try to blog more often and keep in touch. I have a lot of family that follows my blog and I have met some other amazing readers recently so I definitely want to keep you all in the loop. I've definitely had some amazing experiences in Juarez in the last couple of months that I'd like to blog about, so stay tuned!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

11 comments:

  1. You're a super woman. Just reading about your schedule makes me exhausted. I know being with your son is your priority, but you and hubby should vay-cay in Vallarta, Cancun or Baja. You're in the country that boasts the most beautiful beaches in the world. Embrace it!

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    1. If we ever get the time or money, we will definitely take you up on that suggestion! Hopefully sooner rather than later. :)

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    2. I'm sure you'll get there one day.

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  2. Listen, if you go back and read your earlier blogs, you will see just how freaking far you have come, emotionally and otherwise. No getting Jack Sparrow drunk, but a little happy juice to fill in the seconds...we'll all be okay with that. After all, it is Mexico, not the nun's quarters at the Vatican. Oh hell, they probably have a bigger wine stash than any of us! You are doing a great job, your blogs are such eye openers and fun (sometimes not so fun) but real. That's who you are. A real woe-man, wife, mother, individual. Keep rocking it!

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  3. Oh lordy can I relate to the super controlling thing. I am about as uptight as they come, a total know-it-all, selfish, etc. and my boyfriend is laid back, endlessly giving, patient, forgiving, etc. I feel like I don't deserve his kindness most of the time. I really don't know how anyone puts up with me, honestly.

    I am in the "he doesn't want to leave Japan and I don't want to leave the U.S." fetal position stage though :/
    We'll see...

    Anyway, new reader, but I am going to definitely add you to my blog list. (In the U.S. I live in Houston, so when I am back in the U.S. in two weeks I will wave in the vague direction of Mexico at you ;) ) Oh, who am I kidding, I never have any idea which way is South.

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    1. LMAO, sounds just like us! (totally running to check out your blog now)

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  4. I just heard your piece on This American Life and really, really loved it. I'm an American who left everything in the US to follow my French hubby to Europe (after meeting in Brazil). It has definitely not been easy... I totally connect with the emotions you describe about being apart - you have a real gift of expression. Anyway, I just wanted to drop a positive line to say"you go girl" for the exercise routine! I was already impressed with the early morning routine you had to get to work! Suerte! ;)

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    1. Thank you Shannon! Best of luck to you both in Europe, I'm sure that's been an experience :)

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  5. Hi Emily, my name is Rogelio, I am a native Juarez person. For some reason I leve now in Austin, Texas.(Tejas for me). I just read your article at El Diario Digital, it is awesome and is great that you decide to live for 10 years in my beautiful town. ( it doesn't looks beautiful now right), but it is, the people, places to go and food. You're doing a great job. Good job and God bless you entire family.

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