¡Sola, Sola!

So last night I dropped my husband off at the Central Camionera. He went to visit his family in Hidalgo del Parral, Chihuahua. It's about 8 hours South of Juarez. He's gone a couple times each year since we moved to Mexico but for some reason I feel a little different this time.

On a completely different subject (yes it's the second paragraph and I'm already shifting gears) I was driving back to the house and there were Transitos everywhere. After some years in Mexico I seriously feel as though I have been traumatized by Transito because you could probably feed and clothe a small Haitian village on the mordidas I've paid alone. I was really distracted trying to drive as I hate driving down Tecnologico (or Super Mario Kart Rainbow Road as I like to call it) and I think I got all the way to the Tecate Ball (as Cortney calls likes to call it) before I started to cry.

It just hit me how much I really do love my husband. I know it sounds silly because for most people the simple fact that I moved to Juarez makes it pretty fucking clear that I'm in love, but I swear, sometimes I just forget. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I do. I think in any marriage you can get caught up in everyday annoyances or be worried about bills or the kids or random household issues, and simply forget why you said, "I do" in the first place. And let me tell you, I am easily annoyed. I want to be that laid-back, go-with-the-flow, type of person, but the truth is, I'm not.

I'm uptight and controlling and emotional and for some odd reason, Ray puts up with all of that. That's something I forget at times. Anyone who knows us well knows that we bicker and banter back and forth constantly; that's just how we are. I think that's why so it's easy for me to forget how much I love and appreciate him. I'm really sad that he's going to be gone for a week but I'm happy that he's getting the chance to see his family. Right when he gets back I will be going to Missouri to visit my family, including a lot of people from Illinois that I haven't seen in years and years.

It's really frustrating that we can't vacation together though. Ray can't go with me to the US and I obviously dedicate all of my vacation time to see my son and my family. Sam's my priority when it comes to "free time." Yet, it's equally irritating that we've been living in Mexico for about 3 years now and he's gone back to Parral several times and I never have the vacation time to join him. Before we moved here I honestly thought I'd be able to go all the time but it just can't happen. It sucks. I want to be a part of those visits and get to meet the rest of his family and see where he grew up but time and money just doesn't allow it. It's really frustrating.

It's definitely going to be a crazy week without my Gordito. I'm going to try to concentrate on sticking to my plan of exercise and eating healthfully... mejorando mi ser and what not. I'm also going to try my hardest not to get Jack Sparrow drunk like last weekend, but I can't make any promises. After all, it is me we're talking about here.

I really hope you are all doing well. I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much as usual but I am just really caught up with my new lifestyle. I work out every morning at 4 am and then 3 or 4 times a week I work out again in the afternoon after work so my time has just really been consumed with that. I will definitely try to blog more often and keep in touch. I have a lot of family that follows my blog and I have met some other amazing readers recently so I definitely want to keep you all in the loop. I've definitely had some amazing experiences in Juarez in the last couple of months that I'd like to blog about, so stay tuned!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!