Confession, blog, whatever. Prepare yourself for a bunch of random crap. This blog has no direction.
I haven't blogged since August and I'm sure for those of you who aren't friends with me on I2US or Facebook it's crossed your mind that I've become another statistic here in Juarez. No worries, that's not the case. I am very much alive. In fact, I have never felt so alive in my life.
On September 18th I saved a Word doc with the intention to post it as a blog... in it I bitched and bitched about the line and how I couldn't take it and what the hell was I thinking moving to the border. You see, after the initial shock of the first day, Juarez has never been the problem for me. I love it here. It's beautiful. I love the weather, the food, the people, the ambiance. It was that line. What a difference 3 months can make. The line doesn't get to me as much anymore. I've fallen into a nice routine of crossing and then falling asleep for an hour in the Walmart parking lot. I have my pillow, my blanket, I'm set. Then on the way home I read trashy magazines like Life & Style or Ok! It's quite fun really. Soothing. The trashy magazines I mean. I've always been a celebrity whore.
Work is more than I ever could have asked for. It's just the cherry on the top of my theory that I was destined to move to Juarez. I mean, I had never been here. Not really even seen pictures other than some dead bodies. I knew 1 person in the whole town. I had no work lined up. No home. But somehow I just knew that this was the place for me. That it was going to change my life. It was one of those gutt, motherly instict type feelings. Anyway, the chances of me finding another company in my industry to work for in El Paso were slim. The chances that I would adore my coworkers was slim. The chances that I would admire the company's policies and ethics and passion were slim. And I got all of that. I even got a boss who doesn't give a crap that I live in Juarez and only thinks more highly of me because of it. I couldn't ask for more... except for some more money of course ;) The salary is about $8000 less than my last job, but it provides basic necessities plus wine, Cablemas, cigarettes and Ok! so I can't complain...
My husband still can't find work. We didn't realize that would be such an issue. We thought... 300+ factories in Juarez? He'll find work. Crappy work, but work. Yeah, no. We only have one car. You know how hard it is to look for work in the US with no car? It's even harder here. There's no online applications, no well-planned, stable city bus system and the taxi drivers will rob you faster than you can count to 10. Plus it's difficult because every factory he manages to make it to says "Come back at 5 am tomorrow." Since they all say the same thing he can really only go to one "interview" a day. He even resorted to pretending he knew how to use a sewing machine. He could have lost a finger from that little charade. Of course he is starting to go insane in the house all day. I don't blame him. I wish we had the money for a second car. Especially since my car makes some questionable noises. No I'm not imagining them Stacey.
When we first came here, we thought we would have an extra $1500 to buy a clunker. Haha, we were so naive. We blew through our savings in the first 2 months. Don't get me wrong, we weren't out buying diamond earrings and leather boots. But we paid our bills and ordered pizza on Friday nights and rented movies and drank too much. What fools. In the grand scheme of things we're doing okay. If I get out of my American mindset, we're filthy rich. I make 15 times more than Mexican minimum wage. I feel blessed that we can afford to pay the bills even without my husband working. Especially since once we start a family, he will be the one to stay home with any little ones. I keep telling him that this is just practice. If looks could kill...
Because we ran through all that savings we had to move. Luckily we found a bigger house around the corner from our apartment for 2000 pesos cheaper. It's even on a dead end street with 2 security guards. Of course I think these guards are a joke and paying them 90 pesos a week somewhat offends me, but whatever. The new place is older and needs a lot of work. When we moved in you couldn't use the kitchen sink, there was a thick film of concrete dust over everything, the bathroom had no cold water, the heater didn't work, there was no shower head and because of water pressure problems we got a mere drip coming from a pipe in the wall, the stairs were covered in smelly shag carpeting, there was rusty rebar and nails sticking out of the walls and (my personal favorite) when you flushed the toliet water poured into the living room. Since then my husband has fixed all of those things, with the exception of the cold water in the bathroom, all at the expense of the owners thank God. I appreciate that I have a husband who knows his way around a tool box and is so hard working because I've seen it go the other way and having a handy man in your own house is... well, handy.
Anyway I can't keep rambling all day because I have to try and salvage the... soup... that I created last night in my first attempt to make tamales de elote. Too much milk, not enough baking powder. I think. I'm super pissed because if I can't figure out a way to get this mess to harden up I have officially wasted $8 (US) May not sound like much, but let me put things in perspective... $8 is 99 pesos. Enough to buy 10 burritos on the corner, enough to pay both of the "security gaurds" on my street for a week or the equivilent of 2 day's pay for a Mexican factory worker. Yeah. I have to save my corn. I'll be back.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
How to Deal
I have been getting a lot of questions lately about how I am handling our immigration ban and how I can deal with the cruel fact that some people are allowed to live in the US with their spouse and some are not. It all comes down to where you were born and the luck (if you want to call it that) of the draw. I spent a lot of time being pissed off and jealous when I saw a "regular couple" (two US Citizens) fighting over something stupid or complaining about their lives. I couldn't bear to see someone upset about their small problems when I knew that my problem was so... massive. I had my moments of bitterness, trying to figure out why I was dealt such a bad card in life.
Then one day, I was particularly upset with the world and on my way to Rubio's to pick up dinner because I didn't feel like cooking. Surprise, surprise. Now let's ignore the fact that I am feeling sorry for myself even though I am so privileged that I have the option of getting take-out when I'm too tired/lazy to cook (that is a whole other enchilada my friends.) I pull into the parking lot and am literally in tears thinking about everything going on at the time when I see a man in a wheelchair. He has no legs and he is trying to open the door to some Gyro restaurant in the strip mall. He practically fell out of his wheelchair trying to open the door and not one person who was eating on the patio dining area got up to help him. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Now this was a man with real problems. Suddenly I realized that my conflicts were so "first world" and I had to move on with my life. I bet that man in the wheelchair wasn't as miserable as I thought he was. He was probably just happy to be alive. Feeling sorry for myself and playing the "woe is me" card wasn't going to get me anywhere.
It has been over 3 years since we learned we were 9C and this incident of realization happened just a few months ago. So for those of you who just found out the reality of your situation, please don't think I am a cold-hearted bitch. At some point you too will come to accept (to some degree) the hand you were dealt. Of course, we are just now putting a dent in the ban so that sucks, but we had to save money before we moved and I am so happy we waited. Even now, we stopped the process after our I-130 approval so we still want to schedule an appointment with USCIS so we can get the official ban as well as show the Consulate that we are indeed outside of the US.
As for handling the ban... all we can for now is suck it up and carry on with our lives. It may sound incredibly harsh and insensitive, but remember, I am not some outsider passing judgment; this is my life. There are almost 7 billion people in this world and only 300 million live in the US. And everyone else, well, they live. I try to remind myself that not everyone yearns to be a US Citizen and there are millions (dare I say billions?) of people out there who are perfectly content and feel fulfilled and blessed in countries other than the US. Some are happy, some are sad. Some are failures, some are successful. Some are rich, some are poor. It's all in how you view things.
And so we are trying to move on with life and stay positive. When I married my husband it was till death do us part. There were no stipulations in our vows as to where we got to live till death. :) So maybe we are living in the murder capital of the world, maybe I have to wait 2 hours to cross the border for work, and maybe my husband only makes $250 US Dollars a month. But we love each other, we are together, we are living our lives, and that is all that matters. I am no stronger or braver than the next person. I'm just me and I am doing the best that I can.
Then one day, I was particularly upset with the world and on my way to Rubio's to pick up dinner because I didn't feel like cooking. Surprise, surprise. Now let's ignore the fact that I am feeling sorry for myself even though I am so privileged that I have the option of getting take-out when I'm too tired/lazy to cook (that is a whole other enchilada my friends.) I pull into the parking lot and am literally in tears thinking about everything going on at the time when I see a man in a wheelchair. He has no legs and he is trying to open the door to some Gyro restaurant in the strip mall. He practically fell out of his wheelchair trying to open the door and not one person who was eating on the patio dining area got up to help him. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Now this was a man with real problems. Suddenly I realized that my conflicts were so "first world" and I had to move on with my life. I bet that man in the wheelchair wasn't as miserable as I thought he was. He was probably just happy to be alive. Feeling sorry for myself and playing the "woe is me" card wasn't going to get me anywhere.
It has been over 3 years since we learned we were 9C and this incident of realization happened just a few months ago. So for those of you who just found out the reality of your situation, please don't think I am a cold-hearted bitch. At some point you too will come to accept (to some degree) the hand you were dealt. Of course, we are just now putting a dent in the ban so that sucks, but we had to save money before we moved and I am so happy we waited. Even now, we stopped the process after our I-130 approval so we still want to schedule an appointment with USCIS so we can get the official ban as well as show the Consulate that we are indeed outside of the US.
As for handling the ban... all we can for now is suck it up and carry on with our lives. It may sound incredibly harsh and insensitive, but remember, I am not some outsider passing judgment; this is my life. There are almost 7 billion people in this world and only 300 million live in the US. And everyone else, well, they live. I try to remind myself that not everyone yearns to be a US Citizen and there are millions (dare I say billions?) of people out there who are perfectly content and feel fulfilled and blessed in countries other than the US. Some are happy, some are sad. Some are failures, some are successful. Some are rich, some are poor. It's all in how you view things.
And so we are trying to move on with life and stay positive. When I married my husband it was till death do us part. There were no stipulations in our vows as to where we got to live till death. :) So maybe we are living in the murder capital of the world, maybe I have to wait 2 hours to cross the border for work, and maybe my husband only makes $250 US Dollars a month. But we love each other, we are together, we are living our lives, and that is all that matters. I am no stronger or braver than the next person. I'm just me and I am doing the best that I can.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Press "1" for English
I am so irritated right now that I cannot sleep. I'd like to touch on the whole "Press '1' for English" topic.
The United States is a country of immigrants. Everyone knows this. It is the melting pot of the world. This diversity should be embraced, understood and appreciated. I am proud to be an American, and proud of the fact that America is represented by a multitude of races, skin colors and languages. Spanish is the second most common language spoken in the US and it is only natural that it be offered in touch-tone phone services. If Spanish speaking people were not contributing to our economy and calling customer service lines for assistance then we would have some serious problems. So if it pisses you off that there is an option to press "2" for Spanish then you need to get over yourself. Try to get out of your American bubble and realize that an estimated 358 million people in the world speak Spanish as their first language and only 350 million who speak English as their first language. Get with the program.
And of course I could leave the whole arrogant, anti-immigrant, "my family immigrated here legally in the early 1900's, why can't yours?" topic to another blog but I am so beyond annoyed right now that I can't. Maybe your family came here legally from Europe, but please understand that the immigration process from one hundred years ago cannot be compared to that of todays.
When my ancestors immigrated here from Switzerland, the only "process" they were put through was a check for communicable diseases and the challenge of purchasing a one-way ticket to come across the Atlantic by sea. Please stop comparing your ancestors to modern day immigrants. It's pointless and you sound like an idiot.
Too much rum and coke.
:steps off soap box:
The United States is a country of immigrants. Everyone knows this. It is the melting pot of the world. This diversity should be embraced, understood and appreciated. I am proud to be an American, and proud of the fact that America is represented by a multitude of races, skin colors and languages. Spanish is the second most common language spoken in the US and it is only natural that it be offered in touch-tone phone services. If Spanish speaking people were not contributing to our economy and calling customer service lines for assistance then we would have some serious problems. So if it pisses you off that there is an option to press "2" for Spanish then you need to get over yourself. Try to get out of your American bubble and realize that an estimated 358 million people in the world speak Spanish as their first language and only 350 million who speak English as their first language. Get with the program.
And of course I could leave the whole arrogant, anti-immigrant, "my family immigrated here legally in the early 1900's, why can't yours?" topic to another blog but I am so beyond annoyed right now that I can't. Maybe your family came here legally from Europe, but please understand that the immigration process from one hundred years ago cannot be compared to that of todays.
When my ancestors immigrated here from Switzerland, the only "process" they were put through was a check for communicable diseases and the challenge of purchasing a one-way ticket to come across the Atlantic by sea. Please stop comparing your ancestors to modern day immigrants. It's pointless and you sound like an idiot.
Too much rum and coke.
:steps off soap box:
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hamburger Heaven
I have been out of town all week for business and was very surprised to note how much I missed Juarez. Everyone kept telling me I just missed my husband but as soon as I got here I realized that I really did miss Mexico. Things may be rough here right now, but that doesn't take away from the vibrant life and culture in the streets.
After a long day of travel from Tucson to San Diego to El Paso and waiting over an hour to cross back into Mexico, I was more than ready to grub. I had been thinking about this hamburguesa Hawaiiana that I tried last week the whole time I was away. I was so impressed by it that I felt I could dedicate an entire blog solely to this street delight. I was waiting until I came back so that I could take a picture of it for you all so that you could see this burger in all of its delicious glory. And I feel that I should mention that I am not a "burger person." I have never gone to a restaurant and ordered a hamburger with the exception of a one-time fling with a Baconator from Wendy's.
I was very disappointed to see that the burger/taco stand was not in my neighborhood tonight. My husband informed me that it will only be there on Saturdays and Sundays. But don't fear, Stacey's here! She had us follow her to her family's favorite street vendor. And God bless Stacey because this hamburger was truly a culinary delicacy. It could move Heavens and Earth for me. It was like the Holy Spirit in my mouth. I just can't say enough.
They grill a sirloin patty and top it with grilled pineapple, American cheese, AND CARNE BISTEC, and wedge it between a buttered then grilled bun. Simple. Sweet. Savory. Ahhhhhh... the only thing that could have made it better would have been the addition of bacon. The first time I ordered this hamburguesa de Hawaii was at the cart in my neighborhood it was served with bacon, this time, bistec. I still can't decide which I prefer.
I still don't have a picture for you because yet again, I ate it much too fast. But here is a picture of the taco cart from Heaven:
(Photo courtesy of Lealeya Photography)
After a long day of travel from Tucson to San Diego to El Paso and waiting over an hour to cross back into Mexico, I was more than ready to grub. I had been thinking about this hamburguesa Hawaiiana that I tried last week the whole time I was away. I was so impressed by it that I felt I could dedicate an entire blog solely to this street delight. I was waiting until I came back so that I could take a picture of it for you all so that you could see this burger in all of its delicious glory. And I feel that I should mention that I am not a "burger person." I have never gone to a restaurant and ordered a hamburger with the exception of a one-time fling with a Baconator from Wendy's.
I was very disappointed to see that the burger/taco stand was not in my neighborhood tonight. My husband informed me that it will only be there on Saturdays and Sundays. But don't fear, Stacey's here! She had us follow her to her family's favorite street vendor. And God bless Stacey because this hamburger was truly a culinary delicacy. It could move Heavens and Earth for me. It was like the Holy Spirit in my mouth. I just can't say enough.
They grill a sirloin patty and top it with grilled pineapple, American cheese, AND CARNE BISTEC, and wedge it between a buttered then grilled bun. Simple. Sweet. Savory. Ahhhhhh... the only thing that could have made it better would have been the addition of bacon. The first time I ordered this hamburguesa de Hawaii was at the cart in my neighborhood it was served with bacon, this time, bistec. I still can't decide which I prefer.
I still don't have a picture for you because yet again, I ate it much too fast. But here is a picture of the taco cart from Heaven:
(Photo courtesy of Lealeya Photography)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Bigfoot
I am flying out to Tucson tomorrow morning for training for my new job. I am elated to have been able to find a job in El Paso so quickly. However, I have been working in a more casual environment for the last few years and don't exactly have the most professional wardrobe. I was forced to cross the border to buy business attire because A, they don't seem to have many plus sized clothes here in Juarez unless I want to where an Aztecan-ish mu-mu and B, the clothes here are pieces of crap anyway.
Now here I was, 4 o'clock today, packing, when I realized I only had one decent pair of dress shoes. With no time to cross, I headed over to the ever-trusted 3Hermanos. Apparently it's a staple here in Mexico?
It was here I found out that in Mexico I wear a size 26. The biggest size they sell. Holy bigfoot. I never thought I would experience that feeling unless I visited Asia. Oh yeah, by the way, I'm a US size 9. What the hell?
I couldn't hold my grudge for long because I made out like a bandit. $386 pesos for two pairs of comfortable dress shoes. Let's see how long it takes for them to fall apart. Any guesses?
Now here I was, 4 o'clock today, packing, when I realized I only had one decent pair of dress shoes. With no time to cross, I headed over to the ever-trusted 3Hermanos. Apparently it's a staple here in Mexico?
It was here I found out that in Mexico I wear a size 26. The biggest size they sell. Holy bigfoot. I never thought I would experience that feeling unless I visited Asia. Oh yeah, by the way, I'm a US size 9. What the hell?
I couldn't hold my grudge for long because I made out like a bandit. $386 pesos for two pairs of comfortable dress shoes. Let's see how long it takes for them to fall apart. Any guesses?
Friday, August 20, 2010
13 Days
It only took 13 days of living in Juarez for me to see a dead body. 13 days. What will I see in the next 10 years?
Stacey and I were headed back from the grocery store when we realized we couldn’t turn back into my neighborhood. And then we saw him. The newspaper salesman who sits on the corner of Juan Pablo II and Calle Arizona was doubled over with bullet wounds to the chest. My husband just bought a newspaper from him in the morning.
(Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images, taken after another murder in Juarez on March 20, 2010)
My thoughts on the motive? It wasn’t a stray bullet, or a random act of violence. It was a man who failed to pay the quota. Here is Juarez everything seems to be divided up into territories. If you don’t pay money to the mafia to sell things on a certain corner, you may pay for it with your life.
My thoughts, prayers and love go out to this poor man, his family and the rest of this country that is being affected by these irrational acts of violence on a daily basis. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing this right now, but I feel the need to tell the truth about my time here in Juarez. I cannot say any more at this time.
Stacey and I were headed back from the grocery store when we realized we couldn’t turn back into my neighborhood. And then we saw him. The newspaper salesman who sits on the corner of Juan Pablo II and Calle Arizona was doubled over with bullet wounds to the chest. My husband just bought a newspaper from him in the morning.
(Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images, taken after another murder in Juarez on March 20, 2010)
My thoughts on the motive? It wasn’t a stray bullet, or a random act of violence. It was a man who failed to pay the quota. Here is Juarez everything seems to be divided up into territories. If you don’t pay money to the mafia to sell things on a certain corner, you may pay for it with your life.
My thoughts, prayers and love go out to this poor man, his family and the rest of this country that is being affected by these irrational acts of violence on a daily basis. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing this right now, but I feel the need to tell the truth about my time here in Juarez. I cannot say any more at this time.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Only In Mexico
So I am sitting here getting pissed off while trying to figure out where all of my savings went.
$60 on tow straps, $20 for a new trailer hitch, $189 to register my car in Texas, $27 for the emissions inspection, $25 for a Texas Driver’s License, $100 for bus tickets for my in-laws to come from Hidalgo del Parral to visit, $169 for dress clothes because my new job only has casual Fridays, $200 for my first Verizon International phone bill, $128 for my now ridiculously expensive car insurance with Geico, $24 for an oil change, $105 to have some dumbass change my trailer tire in a moment of I-10 E desperation, $20 in ice before purchasing appliances, $55 to set up internet/cable/phone, $170 for a used refrigerator and washer, $800 for first and last months rent on this Mexican palacio, $270 for new front tires on the Trailblazer and my personal favorite, $465 for gas for 2 trips to and from Arizona to Mexico and trying to find my way around El Paso and Juarez. Oh yeah, that’s where my savings went…
Juuuuust when you think nothing can cheer you up, you see this:
(They are driving 70 KPH down a main road by the way) Why strap it down when you can just hold it… literally?
Only in
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