Seven days ago I quit drinking and I'm feeling really, really good. There is obviously a long story behind what finally motivated me to make this decision but maybe I'll get into that more when I'm ready. Today is not the day. Regardless, my decision to put down the bottle has left me with the need to sort of reinvent my life in Juárez. Ever since we moved to Mexico, our lives have revolved around alcohol. That was never the case when we were North of the border.
In Arizona, I wouldn't gulp down an entire bottle of wine on a Tuesday night or start taking shots of tequila before noon on a Saturday, or drink a beer with breakfast on Sundays. I would have a glass of my friend Christina's homemade sangria on Thanksgiving or maybe toast with champagne on New Year's but alcohol was never a problem for me then.
Looking back, I see that I just couldn't cope with everything that this move entailed. I needed something to soften the blow. As an addict, I was naturally drawn to this miracle liquid that seemed to magically remove me from reality. The only problem with that is that reality was still there every morning. Now accompanied by a splitting headache, ganas de vomitar and embarrassment over what I had said or done the night before.
I remember coming home from a job interview 3 days after we moved here to find my husband drinking in the kitchen with his brother and mom. They had hopped on a bus from Parral to Juárez as soon as they had confirmation that we had arrived in Mexico. Of course they were in celebration-mode. It had been years since they'd been face to face.
So how could I resist that shot of tequila when it was offered to me at 2 in the afternoon? We were celebrating! We had made it, we were safe, we were together! Pour me another! ¡Arriba, abajo, por centro, al entro! And then suddenly, there I was and nearly 5 years had passed, and I was still celebrating.
Nearly 5 years had passed and I was still at the same fucking party.
It's time to wake up. It's time to be responsible. It's time to realize that I am strong. I am so much stronger than I was 5 years ago. I am certainly strong enough to deal with my feelings and my life and whatever God throws my way. No need to numb myself with alcohol all the damned time.
I got this.
I'm not saying I'll never drink again, but I do think I lost my way and plan to take a nice long break from alcohol. I'm excited to get out and experience life and stop sitting at home in my cave staring at the TV all day. Although I do enjoy Netflix quite a bit, even sober, a Scandal marathon shouldn't be the highlight of my week.
Normally on Sundays we are both complete zombies. We waste the entire day nursing our hangovers from whatever inevitable celebration took place the night before. Today was different. We woke up feeling rested and ready to take on the day.
After cleaning house we went to see San Andreas at Cinepolis. Forgive me but I have to talk prices here people. 2 adult tickets for the matinee cost 110 pesos. 1 large drink at the concession stand, 47 pesos. Afterwards we strolled around the mall, stopping to smell some cologne at Liverpool and checking out the teacup piglet and Shih Tzus at Bichos.
We ended up at the food court and did a couple of laps before deciding on Taco Inn for an early dinner. I got tacos de pollo asado and a non-alcoholic sangria and Ray settled on tacos de bistec with a Coke. 134 pesos. I know, talking prices again, but I'm going somewhere with this.
After dinner we did a little more window shopping before getting a couple of ice cream cones on our way out. 40 pesos. I got extra caramel. 5 pesos. I know, I know, there's that price again. Here's why I keep mentioning it...
I've been quick to bitch all these years about how tight money is for us. And don't get me wrong, it is tight. But guess what? The grand total for everything we did today was 336 pesos. That's about $22 US and ironically about the amount of money we would normally spend on alcohol on the average weekend. So it's time to stop bitching and time to find some new hobbies.
Yes, it's time for a little wake up call for the Cruz family. And it's a welcomed and long overdue awakening.