Shit I Don't Get About Mexico

1. People who creep down the left lane on the highway. Albeit, we don't really have a a highway here, although there are several four lane roads that I consider the highway and it is a common place for people to be strolling along in the left lane like they're in a fucking school zone, even though the speed limit is 80 kph.

2. Leaving indoor dogs outside. A chihuahua is not a watch dog. He's not going to deter anyone from breaking into your home. Why is he freezing half to death in the back yard in December? I don't get it.

3. Never being on time. Why is it perfectly acceptable to show up for a 3:00 birthday party at 9:00?

4. People covering their mouths from the cold. I'd understand if it was like below zero or something but it'll be in the freaking 70's on a Spring morning and you've got all these people running around town holding a fucking scarf over their mouth. "Es para no enfermarse," Gordo always tells me when I roll my eyes at him for doing the same thing.

5. Women wearing tiny clothes that don't fit. I initially thought that this was a result of a complete lack of plus size clothing stores in this country but as we found our way around Juarez more I learned that this was not the case. There are certainly bigger options out there, they just don't get taken advantage of for some reason.

6. Men and women being separate at parties. It is a given that all the women will be inside the house, most likely in the kitchen, while all of the men are outside. And don't even think about trying to take a stand and mix things up or you will be looked at like the psycho hippie feminist slut that you are.

7. The feminine hygiene aisle. There are more options for toallas higenicas than for cereal. Sup with that?

8. There are no self service gas stations. Are the people of Mexico incapable of pumping their own gas? No. Maybe the Pemex pumps are super sophisticated and much too complicated for the average Joe errr... I mean average Juan?

9. You cannot pay your bills online or mail in a check either. That's right, here we go to the gas station, or the grocery store to pay our bills. The electric bill, the water bill, you name it, gets paid at the store. You hand your bill over to the cashier who takes the money and then stamps your bill and/or gives you a receipt for your payment. You can even add minutes to your ridiculously over-priced Telcel cell phone right there while you pay the cable bill from the comfort of your local grocery store.

10. Where are all the lemons?