25 Things I Love About My Ham Sandwich

In light of some of the comments posted in response to a recent news article featuring this and 2 other expat blogs, I'd like to take a moment to tell you how much I love my ham sandwich. Yes, that's right, after being called a narcissistic whore who "married down" to a man with zero dollars in his bank account, I was informed that "a woman (can be so desperate she) would marry a ham sandwich."

I find these comments hilarious, and it's not just because I'm a pork fanatic. My husband is... quite frankly the best thing that ever happened to me. (There are some tears rolling now.) I don't really even know where to begin. I'm sure everyone realizes that I must really love the man to have uprooted my life and left everything I've ever known to move to his country but I don't think I've ever really, truly touched on this. The ignorant, presumptuous comments coupled with a conversation I had with my mother a few days ago have inspired this post. And so, without further ado... here are 25 things I love about my husband.

1. When I am really, really pissed at him to the point that I am ignoring him entirely, he glances at me from across the room with this stupid grin on his face. That stupid grin, in that stupid angry moment, always (and I mean always) causes me to burst out laughing, to the point that I forget why I was mad in the first place.

2. When the handy man was supposed to come fix the swamp cooler 3 days ago, my husband says, "Forget that guy," and gets up on the roof (of a 2nd story house with no extension ladder) and fixes it himself.

3. He saved me. When I say 'saved,' I mean he literally scraped my pathetic, emotional remains off of the concrete and reminded me what life was really all about.

4. He makes the best corn tortillas from scratch and doesn't even use a press.

5. He was born and raised in a country full of machismo yet never complains when he mops the floor or does the laundry.

6. I've gained almost an entire person's worth of weight since we met and when I show him my skinny jeans that I wish I could wear he looks genuinely confused and asks if those are my sister's pants.

7. When I drink too much and end up doing Bill Cosby impersonations he is annoyed, but I can tell that if he knew who Bill Cosby was he would be laughing his ass off.

8. He is just like my dad.

9. He is just like my step-dad.

10. He makes the best bean, egg, jalapeno and onion guisado on the planet.

11. He cries every time he watches "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition".

12. He has more love, appreciation and patriotism for the United States of America than I do, and he isn't even allowed to go there.

13. Due to the quality of the Mexican public school system he had a seriously questionable education. Yet instead of being bitter and pretending he knew what he was talking about, he put his pride aside and let his wife teach him long division and basic geography when he was 26-years-old.

14. After over 6 years together, we can still stay up all night talking about nothing.

15. When we are down and out, he will take any (morally acceptable) job that can contribute to our family while I see other's spouses who feel too good to work a blue collar, minimum wage paying position, and sacrifice their family's well being for their pride.

16. He can change a tire, replace a fuel pump, lay tile, pour concrete or install an air conditioner with a smile on his face.

17. If he doesn't know how to do something, he just needs to study the situation/components for a bit, and he'll figure it out without utilizing Google or YouTube.

18. He respects, cherishes, and enjoys the true me.

19. He thinks I'm a good cook.

20. He values my opinion and even asks me for it!

21. He shares my love of all types of music and finds the Beatles as epic as Los Huracanes del Norte.

22. When I am losing my mind, being irrational, screaming at the top of my lungs, or crying my eyes out, he just sits there patiently and waits for me to finish with my outburst.

23. He would give me the world if he could but doesn't let our situation make him feel like a failure.

24. You don't have to speak his language to see that he is an amazing person. It can be observed in his body language, his actions and his facial expressions.

25. Each time I see him, I still get excited. There are still butterflies in my stomach and I know I made the right decision. I know every moment and every stuggle is worth it and that nothing can be wrong as long as we are together.