I got the best news ever last week. Well, maybe not as good as having my son living with me, or a green card for my husband, but as good as it gets in this life I live. Awesome news. My husband finally got switched to day shift. I know I haven't really talked about it in the blog, but this schedule was eating me alive. I never saw my husband. I am gone for work from 5:00am-6:00pm. It's a long day in itself. What has made it worse is that my husband left for work at 2:45pm and came home at about 12:45am.
At first it was fun. I was so excited that he was working because those 5 months when he wasn't were rough, to say the least. He had lost his motivation to succeed, second guessed the decision to move to Mexico, and drove me completely insane. So when an opportunity finally came up for work, I considered it a gift from God. I didn't care that he was earning $1 US an hour, he seem revived, proud and productive. He had reconsidered his place in this world. It is impressive and dramatic really; what a low-paying, back-breaking job in a third world country could do and did for him emotionally is indescribable.
Only a month or so later our "Mexico fund" ran out. Everything we had saved, for almost 2 years, while planning our move was gone. With our accounts depleted we realized what was important. The logistics of my El Paso salary surfaced and it was finally time for us to adjust to my 30% (and my husband's 90%) salary decrease. Suddenly, the $50 US he brought home each week became a huge deal. Sure the cost of living is lower in Mexico but we still have several bills in the US such as medical and auto insurance as well as student loans. My checks are now gone the day I receive them and we depend on his check for groceries, gasoline, etc. The importance of his job became quickly and ridiculously apparent. And so his inconvenient schedule had become just that, an inconvenience. It wasn't a "make or break" factor for us.
After about a week the novelty of having my "alone time" wore off. About two months in we had encountered about 15 instances where his schedule affected our daily activities, such as car repairs or bill paying and something as simple as him getting a haircut became difficult. We only have 1 car. 3 months in we were dying for a day shift. It wasn't so much the little details that bothered us, but we never saw each other. Ever. That's no marriage, in my humble opinion. I may catch some back lash for saying this because I know I have readers that never see their spouses (due to immigration issues), but for us in particular, that is not a long-term option. In our eyes, if we weren't ever going to see each other, this whole move made no sense. I began to wonder why I was even living in Mexico. If we were only going to see each other once a week, why didn't I live in the US and commute to Mexico on Saturdays for visits?
Upon inquiring he was told that he needed to wait until he had been with the company for at least a year, or find someone who was willing to switch shifts with him. After about 4 months of digging, he was able to find a man whose wife was pregnant and was longing to spend time with her during the day. In the end, after quite a bit of struggle and paperwork, they ended up switching shifts. My husband now works 6am-3:30pm. I even drop him off at work in the morning. At this point, with the schedules we have and the companies we work for, I couldn't be happier.
Everything is falling into place for us here in Juarez and I am amazed to see that, over a year later, I have yet to regret our decision to move here. Now I just have to figure out how to get Mr. Cruz in bed by 9:00pm!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
What does your Facebook Status say about you?
They say your Facebook Status updates say a lot about who you are as a person. I have really read into this more and more recently as I become increasingly more annoyed with some of the things I read. Some people have no clue how draining their negativity is on Facebook. This is a relatively new problem/debate as social networking such as Facebook and MySpace is still pretty new; it still hasn't been super popular for more than what, 10 years now? They haven't had time to write too many self-help books on the topic. Anyway, I decided I better stop pointing fingers and take a look at myself for a change. Here are my status updates, without editing, since I got my internet back just over a week ago:
Who else misses Baywatch?
My husband cleaned the whole house for me today!! Not unlike him but not common on a Monday! Gracias Raymundo Cruz! Eres lo mejor...
Just sitting here thinking about it, and, the killer in me really IS the killer in you... Wow, I really need to stop listening to Exitos de las 90's.
Listening to Chumbawaba and pissing the night away. You know, singin the songs that remind you of the good times, and the songs that remind you of the better times...
Fried chicken and red wine on a Tuesday night. 'Cause I'm classy like that...
Just realized that I have been reading Wikipedia for 3.5 hours straight! :stuck:
I am so excited for winter. I am going to wear scarves, take my morning nap with a fluffy blanket and eat pot pies for 3 months straight.
50 Primeras Citas ♥
I just almost hit a coyote...
My grandmother had her first round of chemo today and I am so inspired by her attitude and outlook on life. I am so proud to be related to her. Keep on keepin' on Grandma!!
went to Kohl's today with my birthday coupon and got the cutest pair of earings for 72 cents. Now if I could just get them in my ears...
Watching Man vs. Food. Bacon Cheeseburger on a Krispy Kreme ♥
I am so happy to have Cablemas back in my life. I get to hear things like, "cuando Behind The Music continua..." in between FB status updates. Sigh... :first world feliz:
Up, feeling good and ready to start the day. Wait... it's 1:30 AM? Crap! Didn't really think through the whole falling asleep at 7 thing now did I?
Talking to my dad and I hear nothing but roosters and helicopters. He's still truckin' in Haiti... It's so nice to talk after 2 weeks without communication!! ♥ Skype.
Dinner will be chicken breasts stuffed with cream cheese, jalapenos and onions, wrapped in bacon. Sides are a spinach and roasted red pepper salad and beans... what should I do with the beans? They are home cooked pintos but I am not sure what to do with them. I'd like to do something different. They are still whole, fresh out of the crock. Any ideas?
I passed =)
And of course Facebook has the cool new feature: On This Day In... which shows me my status updates on this day in the last couple of years:
2009 -
breakfast in bed with soap net :D
2010 -
Dawson's Creek on the Liv Network!! Geez, Mexican cable really caters to a rerun whore such as myself =)
Loving the Sony line-up for today! Beverly Hills 90210, ANTM, Real Housewives of OC... =) PS. I want a dryer and a burrito.
Obviously, I haven't changed much over the years...
So what have I determined with the little project folks? I think it's pretty obvious. I can't believe such a wonderful man married me because I am a disgustingly weird lush who eats too much, watches too many movies, has poor taste in television programs, a goofy sleep schedule, and gets excited over the dumbest things. Oh, and a little solo karoake streak/YouTube marathon never hurt anyone, right?
I could be ashamed or embarassed by this experiment, but, in all honesty, these updates pretty much describe me in a nutshell, whether I like it or not. And so I have decided that I need not care about people's negativity because my irrelevant babbling is equally annoying. I am just as lame as those whiners and quite frankly, I don't care. I may bitch about someone's constant complaining but somewhere out there someone is reading my updates saying, "Seriously? I don't give a crap what you ate for dinner and if you quote one more 90's pop song I am going to figure out how to slit my wrists with my iPad!"
Oh well. They can whine on while I wine on.
Who else misses Baywatch?
My husband cleaned the whole house for me today!! Not unlike him but not common on a Monday! Gracias Raymundo Cruz! Eres lo mejor...
Just sitting here thinking about it, and, the killer in me really IS the killer in you... Wow, I really need to stop listening to Exitos de las 90's.
Listening to Chumbawaba and pissing the night away. You know, singin the songs that remind you of the good times, and the songs that remind you of the better times...
Fried chicken and red wine on a Tuesday night. 'Cause I'm classy like that...
Just realized that I have been reading Wikipedia for 3.5 hours straight! :stuck:
I am so excited for winter. I am going to wear scarves, take my morning nap with a fluffy blanket and eat pot pies for 3 months straight.
50 Primeras Citas ♥
I just almost hit a coyote...
My grandmother had her first round of chemo today and I am so inspired by her attitude and outlook on life. I am so proud to be related to her. Keep on keepin' on Grandma!!
went to Kohl's today with my birthday coupon and got the cutest pair of earings for 72 cents. Now if I could just get them in my ears...
Watching Man vs. Food. Bacon Cheeseburger on a Krispy Kreme ♥
I am so happy to have Cablemas back in my life. I get to hear things like, "cuando Behind The Music continua..." in between FB status updates. Sigh... :first world feliz:
Up, feeling good and ready to start the day. Wait... it's 1:30 AM? Crap! Didn't really think through the whole falling asleep at 7 thing now did I?
Talking to my dad and I hear nothing but roosters and helicopters. He's still truckin' in Haiti... It's so nice to talk after 2 weeks without communication!! ♥ Skype.
Dinner will be chicken breasts stuffed with cream cheese, jalapenos and onions, wrapped in bacon. Sides are a spinach and roasted red pepper salad and beans... what should I do with the beans? They are home cooked pintos but I am not sure what to do with them. I'd like to do something different. They are still whole, fresh out of the crock. Any ideas?
I passed =)
And of course Facebook has the cool new feature: On This Day In... which shows me my status updates on this day in the last couple of years:
2009 -
breakfast in bed with soap net :D
2010 -
Dawson's Creek on the Liv Network!! Geez, Mexican cable really caters to a rerun whore such as myself =)
Loving the Sony line-up for today! Beverly Hills 90210, ANTM, Real Housewives of OC... =) PS. I want a dryer and a burrito.
Obviously, I haven't changed much over the years...
So what have I determined with the little project folks? I think it's pretty obvious. I can't believe such a wonderful man married me because I am a disgustingly weird lush who eats too much, watches too many movies, has poor taste in television programs, a goofy sleep schedule, and gets excited over the dumbest things. Oh, and a little solo karoake streak/YouTube marathon never hurt anyone, right?
I could be ashamed or embarassed by this experiment, but, in all honesty, these updates pretty much describe me in a nutshell, whether I like it or not. And so I have decided that I need not care about people's negativity because my irrelevant babbling is equally annoying. I am just as lame as those whiners and quite frankly, I don't care. I may bitch about someone's constant complaining but somewhere out there someone is reading my updates saying, "Seriously? I don't give a crap what you ate for dinner and if you quote one more 90's pop song I am going to figure out how to slit my wrists with my iPad!"
Oh well. They can whine on while I wine on.
AutumnISH Ramblings
Yesterday the high was 86F and the low was 66F. It was a little cloudy to start but the clouds broke mid-morning and revealed a clear blue sky. Delicious. I was walking my dogs when that feeling came over me... Autumn. You know that leaves falling, pumpkin pie spice, trick-or-treat, cardigan over the t-shirt, back-to-school, fresh pencil shavings feeling? I don't care that I've spent the last 15 years in the Southwest where the leaves don't really fall and school starts at the beginning of August and I wear cardigans all year because I'm self-conscious of my arms and I despise using pencils anyway. That feeling still comes over me. I still remember actual seasons from when I grew up in Kansas City, Missouri and the same feelings still take over at the exact same time, no matter where I am. All it takes is one cool(er) day to bring it all flooding back to me.
I know I complained about the cold last year but we really weren't prepared for that freeze. Everyone told me that it only snows once every couple of years in Juarez yet our first winter it snowed 3 times. We were without running water for 8 days due to pipe damage and didn't have a heater. My rants were warranted, right? This year we are bit more prepared with a working heater, the new and improved rice sock, and a whole lot of faith that there won't be record breaking freezes 2 years in a row.
I am beyond excited for the coming months! I cannot stand heat and sunshine and I am thrilled to be done with it for a little while. I would much rather bundle up and watch movies while the snow falls, or go for a long walk on a crisp cool night than sit by the pool eating popsicles while all my concealer sweats off. I know it is supposed to be 95F tomorrow and I am getting ahead of myself but I am going to go through my winter clothes. Did you know scarves are one size fits all?
I know I complained about the cold last year but we really weren't prepared for that freeze. Everyone told me that it only snows once every couple of years in Juarez yet our first winter it snowed 3 times. We were without running water for 8 days due to pipe damage and didn't have a heater. My rants were warranted, right? This year we are bit more prepared with a working heater, the new and improved rice sock, and a whole lot of faith that there won't be record breaking freezes 2 years in a row.
I am beyond excited for the coming months! I cannot stand heat and sunshine and I am thrilled to be done with it for a little while. I would much rather bundle up and watch movies while the snow falls, or go for a long walk on a crisp cool night than sit by the pool eating popsicles while all my concealer sweats off. I know it is supposed to be 95F tomorrow and I am getting ahead of myself but I am going to go through my winter clothes. Did you know scarves are one size fits all?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Catching Up
There has been so much going on, so I would like to forewarn everyone that this is another long-winded blog of randomness in a quick attempt to fill you in with what's been going on in my life.
We moved. We lucked into a house once again and although the outside looks horrible, the inside is gorgeous. When I say we lucked into it, I just mean that it is extremely difficult to find a rental so close to the border that fits into our budget. Plus, it's everything that the last house wasn't. Don't get me wrong, our last house was very nice compared to many (most?) here in Juarez, but after 8 months, the bad began to outweigh the good. There was no air conditioning, no heat and the floors were a mess (some concrete, some broken tile, some laminate) so it constantly felt dirty. There was no natural light, the patio roof was caving in and when it rained, every room on the 2nd story would leak horribly. There was mold in the bathroom, no drain in the shower, and parking was near impossible. We tried to grin and bear it, but the leaky roof was the straw that broke the camel's back for us. We attempted to contact our landlords about the air and the roof, but their phones had been disconnected. Of course. As much as I hate to use the old cliche, it's true. When one door closes, another really does open. We began talking to our neighbors, and as it turned out, the house 2 doors down from ours was for sale. Given the situation in Juarez, you can imagine that the real estate industry isn't really booming, and so the owner was open to renting it out instead.
The house looks horrible on the outside. It's beyond dirty with oil stains all over the driveway and paint splatters or cracked paint covering the entire front. But looks can be deceiving! This house is in much better condition than the last. The swamp cooler is new-ish and the heater is about 15 years newer than the one at the last house. The patio roof is in great condition and the boiler is only a couple of years old. There is beautiful light gray tile on the first story while the stairs and the 2nd story have a light tan carpet that is in pretty good shape. There aren't wacky paint colors on the walls like the last house where we had a bright red bathroom and a sunflower yellow living room. In this house the living room is white, while the kitchen is a very light blue and the upstairs walls are painted tan. We've got cool light fixtures from IKEA in the living room that operate on a dimmer switch and there is crown molding throughout. Yeah, I admit it, I like my little slice of America, even in the middle of Juarez...
This has been a very difficult, yet humbling, month for us. A bad combination of moving, car problems, and a lower income from my vacation to Missouri, created the perfect financial storm. It brought us back to our roots, and reminded us of a time when we had so much less. When I first met my husband I was still on drugs. Although I got sober shortly after, it took me a while to re-establish some resemblance of a normal life. The majority of our first couple of years together was spent in empty apartments, sleeping on the floor, eating a whole lot of eggs and tortillas. We could barely pay the bills and had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to buy a car. Years later, one tends to forget that struggle. We've spent many years now not wanting for anything (other than a greencard) and losing touch with the difference between necessity and desire. This month served as a much needed reality check. Although we had a serious shortage on cash, it wasn't detrimental to our well-being in the least bit. I was still able to pay all of our bills, I was just reminded that eating out everyday for lunch is ridiculous, paper towels aren't gold, and it's okay to pay bills the day they are due. I got creative with my cooking and was reminded that going to the grocery store with a list and a budget should be a given, not just something you do when cash flow is low. I feel so blessed that I have been through tough times in the past, so these moments aren't so shocking, and I am well aware of the steps to take in order to ride out the storm.
Because of the move and some "quality issues" with Cablemas we have been without internet and cable since August 13th. It made me realize how much I depend on my online networks, and my friends, for my sanity! I have felt so disconnected from the world and just being able to type this right now is extremely refreshing. I did an interview recently for an online podcast that should be coming out shortly, and this month really solidified everything I said in that interview. Being able to communicate with all of the other women going through the same thing really does make or break my emotional success in Mexico. If it weren't for all of you, I don't know if I would be able to do this.
I guess that is enough randomness for now, and I hope everyone is having an awesome Sunday. Enjoy what's left of it!
We moved. We lucked into a house once again and although the outside looks horrible, the inside is gorgeous. When I say we lucked into it, I just mean that it is extremely difficult to find a rental so close to the border that fits into our budget. Plus, it's everything that the last house wasn't. Don't get me wrong, our last house was very nice compared to many (most?) here in Juarez, but after 8 months, the bad began to outweigh the good. There was no air conditioning, no heat and the floors were a mess (some concrete, some broken tile, some laminate) so it constantly felt dirty. There was no natural light, the patio roof was caving in and when it rained, every room on the 2nd story would leak horribly. There was mold in the bathroom, no drain in the shower, and parking was near impossible. We tried to grin and bear it, but the leaky roof was the straw that broke the camel's back for us. We attempted to contact our landlords about the air and the roof, but their phones had been disconnected. Of course. As much as I hate to use the old cliche, it's true. When one door closes, another really does open. We began talking to our neighbors, and as it turned out, the house 2 doors down from ours was for sale. Given the situation in Juarez, you can imagine that the real estate industry isn't really booming, and so the owner was open to renting it out instead.
The house looks horrible on the outside. It's beyond dirty with oil stains all over the driveway and paint splatters or cracked paint covering the entire front. But looks can be deceiving! This house is in much better condition than the last. The swamp cooler is new-ish and the heater is about 15 years newer than the one at the last house. The patio roof is in great condition and the boiler is only a couple of years old. There is beautiful light gray tile on the first story while the stairs and the 2nd story have a light tan carpet that is in pretty good shape. There aren't wacky paint colors on the walls like the last house where we had a bright red bathroom and a sunflower yellow living room. In this house the living room is white, while the kitchen is a very light blue and the upstairs walls are painted tan. We've got cool light fixtures from IKEA in the living room that operate on a dimmer switch and there is crown molding throughout. Yeah, I admit it, I like my little slice of America, even in the middle of Juarez...
This has been a very difficult, yet humbling, month for us. A bad combination of moving, car problems, and a lower income from my vacation to Missouri, created the perfect financial storm. It brought us back to our roots, and reminded us of a time when we had so much less. When I first met my husband I was still on drugs. Although I got sober shortly after, it took me a while to re-establish some resemblance of a normal life. The majority of our first couple of years together was spent in empty apartments, sleeping on the floor, eating a whole lot of eggs and tortillas. We could barely pay the bills and had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to buy a car. Years later, one tends to forget that struggle. We've spent many years now not wanting for anything (other than a greencard) and losing touch with the difference between necessity and desire. This month served as a much needed reality check. Although we had a serious shortage on cash, it wasn't detrimental to our well-being in the least bit. I was still able to pay all of our bills, I was just reminded that eating out everyday for lunch is ridiculous, paper towels aren't gold, and it's okay to pay bills the day they are due. I got creative with my cooking and was reminded that going to the grocery store with a list and a budget should be a given, not just something you do when cash flow is low. I feel so blessed that I have been through tough times in the past, so these moments aren't so shocking, and I am well aware of the steps to take in order to ride out the storm.
Because of the move and some "quality issues" with Cablemas we have been without internet and cable since August 13th. It made me realize how much I depend on my online networks, and my friends, for my sanity! I have felt so disconnected from the world and just being able to type this right now is extremely refreshing. I did an interview recently for an online podcast that should be coming out shortly, and this month really solidified everything I said in that interview. Being able to communicate with all of the other women going through the same thing really does make or break my emotional success in Mexico. If it weren't for all of you, I don't know if I would be able to do this.
I guess that is enough randomness for now, and I hope everyone is having an awesome Sunday. Enjoy what's left of it!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
And then you eat lunch...
My biggest fear in life is car problems. Yeah, you read right, I live in the murder capital of the world and I am more worried about possible transmission failure than with being kidnapped and decapitated. I have trouble prioritizing.
When you live in Juarez and work in El Paso, being carless = being jobless. The city buses on the Mexico side of the border don't start running early enough to get to the border in time to catch a bus to my work. And even if I took a taxi to the border, I would have to take 2 more buses and walk over a mile before I would get to my work a bit after 9. Even if I was ambitious, that wouldn't work considering I start at 8am. Maybe this is because I don't work downtown so I am not near the major bus lines? I'm not sure. I swear I have a point here.
Today I went to Fashion Bug because I'm low on cash, needed an undergarment, and have store credit there. It's on the end of town (at least my vision of the end) in an area I'm not familiar with at all. I found it just fine but while on the freeway my car just began to... rumble? And then came to a slow stop. Nothing on the dash signaled trouble, there was no smoke, and when I restarted the car, it continued without problems... for about 5 feet. Then it would die again. I called my husband hoping he would be able to advise me but just got his voicemail. 17 times. He was 30 minutes into a 12 hour graveyard shift.
And this is when I felt it again. To anyone who has read my blog since the get-go, you might remember my first post. It was the one where my trailer tire blew out on my final trip from Phoenix to Juarez. Where I was so insanely dramatic and desperate that I mentioned feeling "as though life as I knew it was over and I would be forced to build a hut from the wood of my trailer right then and there and live the rest of my life alone on the side of the I-10." Cue the violins.
I'm not sure why I lose a sense of reality when things go wrong, but I do. I burst into tears, have a panic attack, and instead of realizing how many great friends I have at work, and back home in Juarez, I just shut it all out and try to solve things on my own. I'm too proud. It's always been an issue. I don't like it when someone else offers to pay for dinner, I feel compelled to give a person gas money if they give me a ride, even though we're going to the same place and I can't take a compliment. Asking for help when I'm broke down on the side of the freeway? No thanks.
I could turn the car off, wait about a minute, then restart it and drive about 5 ft. I drove like this in a huge circle for over an hour, not realizing that where I started was very close to the Zaragosa Bridge. I never really venture out in El Paso so I still don't know my way around very well. I felt pretty stupid when I chugged pass the Fashion Bug almost 2 hours later. I was determined to make it to Juarez. What I would do when I got there? I wasn't so sure. All I knew is that in Juarez I would have more possibility of my husband being able to help so that was the goal.
I managed to get to the bridge and of course caught Border Patrol's attention with my emergency lights flashing. What better time to be pulled to secondary inspection than this? Perfecto. A few minutes, and some German Sheppard paw prints all over my backseat later, I began to feel like I would actually make it and I did. At this point I had sucked up my pride and gotten in touch with my girls in El Club de los Deportados (fondly named as such by a friend's hilarious husband.) I waited for them to come for me in a parking lot on the other side of the bridge. Because I am so set in my ways, I rarely cross at Zaragosa and instantly felt uneasy because I was so unfamiliar with the area. I talked on the phone with my mom until my friends arrived as if our conversation would be my saving grace from criminals or the likes.
More puttering and laughter occurred before I finally made it home. Annalisa was right when she said it all seemed like a quirky movie. It's funny how friends can bring humor and reality to a situation that would have otherwise seemed so dismal. I really do have the best friends here and I never saw that coming... I left the most amazing women in the world behind in Arizona and I honestly didn't think I would find that again in life.
I am going to end with this: The moral of the story is that car problems are not the end of the world. Turns out I need to reassess my "biggest fear." I think an I2US's friend's family member put it best when they said, "Shit happens, and then you eat lunch."
When you live in Juarez and work in El Paso, being carless = being jobless. The city buses on the Mexico side of the border don't start running early enough to get to the border in time to catch a bus to my work. And even if I took a taxi to the border, I would have to take 2 more buses and walk over a mile before I would get to my work a bit after 9. Even if I was ambitious, that wouldn't work considering I start at 8am. Maybe this is because I don't work downtown so I am not near the major bus lines? I'm not sure. I swear I have a point here.
Today I went to Fashion Bug because I'm low on cash, needed an undergarment, and have store credit there. It's on the end of town (at least my vision of the end) in an area I'm not familiar with at all. I found it just fine but while on the freeway my car just began to... rumble? And then came to a slow stop. Nothing on the dash signaled trouble, there was no smoke, and when I restarted the car, it continued without problems... for about 5 feet. Then it would die again. I called my husband hoping he would be able to advise me but just got his voicemail. 17 times. He was 30 minutes into a 12 hour graveyard shift.
And this is when I felt it again. To anyone who has read my blog since the get-go, you might remember my first post. It was the one where my trailer tire blew out on my final trip from Phoenix to Juarez. Where I was so insanely dramatic and desperate that I mentioned feeling "as though life as I knew it was over and I would be forced to build a hut from the wood of my trailer right then and there and live the rest of my life alone on the side of the I-10." Cue the violins.
I'm not sure why I lose a sense of reality when things go wrong, but I do. I burst into tears, have a panic attack, and instead of realizing how many great friends I have at work, and back home in Juarez, I just shut it all out and try to solve things on my own. I'm too proud. It's always been an issue. I don't like it when someone else offers to pay for dinner, I feel compelled to give a person gas money if they give me a ride, even though we're going to the same place and I can't take a compliment. Asking for help when I'm broke down on the side of the freeway? No thanks.
I could turn the car off, wait about a minute, then restart it and drive about 5 ft. I drove like this in a huge circle for over an hour, not realizing that where I started was very close to the Zaragosa Bridge. I never really venture out in El Paso so I still don't know my way around very well. I felt pretty stupid when I chugged pass the Fashion Bug almost 2 hours later. I was determined to make it to Juarez. What I would do when I got there? I wasn't so sure. All I knew is that in Juarez I would have more possibility of my husband being able to help so that was the goal.
I managed to get to the bridge and of course caught Border Patrol's attention with my emergency lights flashing. What better time to be pulled to secondary inspection than this? Perfecto. A few minutes, and some German Sheppard paw prints all over my backseat later, I began to feel like I would actually make it and I did. At this point I had sucked up my pride and gotten in touch with my girls in El Club de los Deportados (fondly named as such by a friend's hilarious husband.) I waited for them to come for me in a parking lot on the other side of the bridge. Because I am so set in my ways, I rarely cross at Zaragosa and instantly felt uneasy because I was so unfamiliar with the area. I talked on the phone with my mom until my friends arrived as if our conversation would be my saving grace from criminals or the likes.
More puttering and laughter occurred before I finally made it home. Annalisa was right when she said it all seemed like a quirky movie. It's funny how friends can bring humor and reality to a situation that would have otherwise seemed so dismal. I really do have the best friends here and I never saw that coming... I left the most amazing women in the world behind in Arizona and I honestly didn't think I would find that again in life.
I am going to end with this: The moral of the story is that car problems are not the end of the world. Turns out I need to reassess my "biggest fear." I think an I2US's friend's family member put it best when they said, "Shit happens, and then you eat lunch."
Sunday, July 31, 2011
A Little Bit About Me
In the style of "25 Things I Love About My Ham Sandwich," we have another joint blogging effort making the rounds. This one was started by Lisa from From One Country to Another and is great way to learn a bit more about each other.
1. How long have you been with your husband?
We met in the Spring of 2005 and married on July 11th, 2007.
2. Can you remember one funny miscommunication because of language barriers?
We have a lot of these. I am fully bilingual now so most of the humor comes from my husband at this point. One that comes to mind happened while watching a movie with a child whose character's name was Cameron. Over an hour into the movie (which we were watching in English with Spanish subtitles,) my husband turns to me and says, "That poor kid, why does his mom keep calling him camarón, he doesn't seem that little for his age!"
He thought they were calling the kid "shrimp" the whole time. Epic.
3. What state / and or city have you relocated to?
Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico
4. Do you and your hubby have any children, How old?
I have an 8 year old son and my husband has a 10 year old daughter, both from previous relationships.
5. What is one things thing that your blogger friends don't know about you?
Generally speaking, I am a ridiculously open book so there probably isn't a lot you haven't heard in the past year. I don't think I've never mentioned that I don't like people in my kitchen. I have been known to scream and cry when my husband tries to hang around while I make dinner. He just does it to drive me crazy. I know. I'm awful. I've even given my own mother the boot. I just can't handle the chaos of additional bodies in my culinary bubble. I hate the American trend of open concept floor plans and pine for a kitchen that is closed off from the world. I once heard on an episode of House Hunters International that mine is a typical European opinion about the kitchen so it looks like I'm not getting relief anytime soon. We will live in the Americas forever I'm sure. Bottom line... stay out of my kitchen. Sorry.
6. What are some of your favorite hobbies or past times?
I love movies of all types. I am newly obsessed with Spanish films from the 1960's but watch a lot of American and British independent flicks because they are my husband's favorite.
I love to cook, write, draw, sing, drink and eat. I am also a mix-tape master.
My idea of the perfect day involves a movie marathon, my entire family, and copious amounts of chicken wings, wine and ice cream.
7. How did you stumble upon the blogging community?
The first blog I ever read religiously was Half of Me which has changed drastically over the years but I still love it. I came upon expat blogs via Facebook and networking with others who are in similar situations. Expat blogging is still relatively new to me and I am almost overwhelmed at all there is to read and keep up with. I really wish that I could get an email every time people post. If I follow your blog and you would like to add me to your email recipient list I would greatly appreciate it.
8. Have you learned something new about yourself during this whole process that has changed all of our lives?
I've learned that I can handle so much more than I ever thought I could. This process has completely changed me for the better. A year ago I was a very negative, impatient, immature and entitled person. I suppose I am still all of those things but it is all to a lesser degree. I have a much better perspective on life and a better idea of "the big picture." I think Americans as a whole have a very skewed view of the difference between want and need and between right and privilege.
The most obvious change is in my optimism. I have never been a particularly positive person yet at this point my positivity has become annoying to some and people have even rejoiced when I do complain. I get it. I know it can be annoying at times. However, I can't be pissed off all the time because this is the only life I've got as Emily (yes, I believe in reincarnation... maybe that should've been the answer to #5) and I am determined to make the best of it.
9. Something that you love about Mexico and something that you cant stand or miss living without.
I love a lot of things about Mexico. First and foremost I love that my husband and I are both legally allowed to be here together and don't have hide in the house in fear like we did while living in Maricopa County. I love the emphasis on family instead of career. I love being able to get in a screaming fight or have my dogs barking at a bird for an hour and no one calls the cops. I love street food. I love that it snows here, but not enough that I have to bust out a shovel. I love being able to walk to anything I need even though I'm not in a city center. I love how warm and accepting the people are. I love my neighborhood and how EVERY SINGLE house looks completely, 100% different from the house next to it. I love Mexican pork chops.
Aside from family and friends, the thing I most hate living without is Barro's Pizza. I also cannot stand my daily commute crossing the border, the fact that no one is ever on time and all of the dust.
10. Did you know your in-laws before moving and has it been a big adjustment being closer to them?
I spoke to my in-laws on the phone on a weekly basis for a couple of years before we moved to Mexico. We did not move to my husband's hometown so we are still 7 hours away from his family in Hidalgo del Parral. It hasn't been an adjustment at all because we never really see them because of the distance coupled with our work schedules. I did have the opportunity to meet my MIL and one of my BILs during the first week we were here because they took a bus trip up to see us. I am happy to say that they were both just as awesome and caring and friendly as they had been in all of our phone calls. I had met my husband's other brother years ago when he lived in Arizona. This December I will be meeting the rest of the family and I'm sure I'll have much more to say at that point.
11. If you were going back to the states next week where is the first place you would go, of course after seeing your family?
I'm sorry but the first thing that comes to mind is restaurants. I suppose I am a foodie to the core. First I'd go to Barro's (duh,) then to Rubio's, then to Burrito Express, then to House of Eggroll, then to Filiberto's... and I'd top it off with a little Cold Stone Creamery.
I would also like to show my husband around my hometown, Kansas City, and do all of the typical American touristy things, like go to Disney World, Niagra Falls, Lake of the Ozarks or Six Flags.
1. How long have you been with your husband?
We met in the Spring of 2005 and married on July 11th, 2007.
2. Can you remember one funny miscommunication because of language barriers?
We have a lot of these. I am fully bilingual now so most of the humor comes from my husband at this point. One that comes to mind happened while watching a movie with a child whose character's name was Cameron. Over an hour into the movie (which we were watching in English with Spanish subtitles,) my husband turns to me and says, "That poor kid, why does his mom keep calling him camarón, he doesn't seem that little for his age!"
He thought they were calling the kid "shrimp" the whole time. Epic.
3. What state / and or city have you relocated to?
Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico
4. Do you and your hubby have any children, How old?
I have an 8 year old son and my husband has a 10 year old daughter, both from previous relationships.
5. What is one things thing that your blogger friends don't know about you?
Generally speaking, I am a ridiculously open book so there probably isn't a lot you haven't heard in the past year. I don't think I've never mentioned that I don't like people in my kitchen. I have been known to scream and cry when my husband tries to hang around while I make dinner. He just does it to drive me crazy. I know. I'm awful. I've even given my own mother the boot. I just can't handle the chaos of additional bodies in my culinary bubble. I hate the American trend of open concept floor plans and pine for a kitchen that is closed off from the world. I once heard on an episode of House Hunters International that mine is a typical European opinion about the kitchen so it looks like I'm not getting relief anytime soon. We will live in the Americas forever I'm sure. Bottom line... stay out of my kitchen. Sorry.
6. What are some of your favorite hobbies or past times?
I love movies of all types. I am newly obsessed with Spanish films from the 1960's but watch a lot of American and British independent flicks because they are my husband's favorite.
I love to cook, write, draw, sing, drink and eat. I am also a mix-tape master.
My idea of the perfect day involves a movie marathon, my entire family, and copious amounts of chicken wings, wine and ice cream.
7. How did you stumble upon the blogging community?
The first blog I ever read religiously was Half of Me which has changed drastically over the years but I still love it. I came upon expat blogs via Facebook and networking with others who are in similar situations. Expat blogging is still relatively new to me and I am almost overwhelmed at all there is to read and keep up with. I really wish that I could get an email every time people post. If I follow your blog and you would like to add me to your email recipient list I would greatly appreciate it.
8. Have you learned something new about yourself during this whole process that has changed all of our lives?
I've learned that I can handle so much more than I ever thought I could. This process has completely changed me for the better. A year ago I was a very negative, impatient, immature and entitled person. I suppose I am still all of those things but it is all to a lesser degree. I have a much better perspective on life and a better idea of "the big picture." I think Americans as a whole have a very skewed view of the difference between want and need and between right and privilege.
The most obvious change is in my optimism. I have never been a particularly positive person yet at this point my positivity has become annoying to some and people have even rejoiced when I do complain. I get it. I know it can be annoying at times. However, I can't be pissed off all the time because this is the only life I've got as Emily (yes, I believe in reincarnation... maybe that should've been the answer to #5) and I am determined to make the best of it.
9. Something that you love about Mexico and something that you cant stand or miss living without.
I love a lot of things about Mexico. First and foremost I love that my husband and I are both legally allowed to be here together and don't have hide in the house in fear like we did while living in Maricopa County. I love the emphasis on family instead of career. I love being able to get in a screaming fight or have my dogs barking at a bird for an hour and no one calls the cops. I love street food. I love that it snows here, but not enough that I have to bust out a shovel. I love being able to walk to anything I need even though I'm not in a city center. I love how warm and accepting the people are. I love my neighborhood and how EVERY SINGLE house looks completely, 100% different from the house next to it. I love Mexican pork chops.
Aside from family and friends, the thing I most hate living without is Barro's Pizza. I also cannot stand my daily commute crossing the border, the fact that no one is ever on time and all of the dust.
10. Did you know your in-laws before moving and has it been a big adjustment being closer to them?
I spoke to my in-laws on the phone on a weekly basis for a couple of years before we moved to Mexico. We did not move to my husband's hometown so we are still 7 hours away from his family in Hidalgo del Parral. It hasn't been an adjustment at all because we never really see them because of the distance coupled with our work schedules. I did have the opportunity to meet my MIL and one of my BILs during the first week we were here because they took a bus trip up to see us. I am happy to say that they were both just as awesome and caring and friendly as they had been in all of our phone calls. I had met my husband's other brother years ago when he lived in Arizona. This December I will be meeting the rest of the family and I'm sure I'll have much more to say at that point.
11. If you were going back to the states next week where is the first place you would go, of course after seeing your family?
I'm sorry but the first thing that comes to mind is restaurants. I suppose I am a foodie to the core. First I'd go to Barro's (duh,) then to Rubio's, then to Burrito Express, then to House of Eggroll, then to Filiberto's... and I'd top it off with a little Cold Stone Creamery.
I would also like to show my husband around my hometown, Kansas City, and do all of the typical American touristy things, like go to Disney World, Niagra Falls, Lake of the Ozarks or Six Flags.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
When It Rains It Sprinkles
This has been a bad week. Coming home from seeing my son is always hard in that "smack reality in your face" sort of way. I can't talk negatively because that's just not the new me. I feel like when I was planning my move to Mexico I was over-run with other forced expats about how terrible their lives were and how living in Mexico was some sort of punishment and that bothers me. I want to be that voice that represents the positive aspects of being forced out of your comfort zone. I want people to realize that a deportation does not equal the end of your marriage and/or your happiness. When I have these moments, it upsets me.
I naturally feel the urge to write and express myself, but at the same time, I don't want these petty moments to define me as a person. I came back from Missouri fully aware of my natural tendencies and emotions. This time was no different from others. I have been going through this for a few years now. Watching someone else raise my son. I can't even BEGIN to describe that feeling. I don't even know what to say, or do, or feel. This return was coupled with some serious issues in our home.
For starters my husband is giving his EVERYTHING to contribute to our household. While I was gone he worked 6am-6pm instead of 3pm-12am in attempts to contribute an additonal $17 US to our weekly income. He decided to keep going with that schedule upon my return. We are in somewhat of a self-inflicted, living-beyond-our-means financial crisis and he is determined to repair that. And so I have not seen my husband since Sunday. It's sad and admirable all at the same time.
In addition to all of this emotional and financial stress while trying to make up for my 3 missed work days, we have been having all sorts of problems with our house. The roof is leaking terribly, enough to fill a 20 gallon bucket in a matter of a couple hours and our A/C recently went out. To top it all off our landlord's phone numbers are disconnected so we have no means to rectify the situation.
The only remaining option is to move, which we fully intend on doing. There is a house, 2 doors down from ours, for rent. We love our street and want nothing more than to continue living here. It is unfortunate that our house is literally falling apart at the seams, because we fully intended on staying here until we could purchase a home of our own.
This entire situation is hellish, but at the same time it is refreshingly humbling. There is no reason that I cannot live with a leaky roof or without A/C in 100F+ weather. This is not the worst thing I have ever encountered in my life nor will it define me. So why should I let it over-take my emotions?
The answer is that I shouldn't. The answer is that these situations, when I am not PERFECTLY comfortable, are a blessing. I am learning. I am learning how to do without air, or cable TV, or a dry home. I am learning that I should be beyond grateful to have a home at all. I am learning that nobody gives a crap if I don't have A/C because there are children out there dying from starvation as I type. These are the moments I have waited for my entire life. These are the moments my mother prepared me for. These are the moments that do define me even when I don't want them to. Silly, stupid, inconvenient moments. This is what turns boys into men. This is what humbles an entitled American. This is my savior.
I naturally feel the urge to write and express myself, but at the same time, I don't want these petty moments to define me as a person. I came back from Missouri fully aware of my natural tendencies and emotions. This time was no different from others. I have been going through this for a few years now. Watching someone else raise my son. I can't even BEGIN to describe that feeling. I don't even know what to say, or do, or feel. This return was coupled with some serious issues in our home.
For starters my husband is giving his EVERYTHING to contribute to our household. While I was gone he worked 6am-6pm instead of 3pm-12am in attempts to contribute an additonal $17 US to our weekly income. He decided to keep going with that schedule upon my return. We are in somewhat of a self-inflicted, living-beyond-our-means financial crisis and he is determined to repair that. And so I have not seen my husband since Sunday. It's sad and admirable all at the same time.
In addition to all of this emotional and financial stress while trying to make up for my 3 missed work days, we have been having all sorts of problems with our house. The roof is leaking terribly, enough to fill a 20 gallon bucket in a matter of a couple hours and our A/C recently went out. To top it all off our landlord's phone numbers are disconnected so we have no means to rectify the situation.
The only remaining option is to move, which we fully intend on doing. There is a house, 2 doors down from ours, for rent. We love our street and want nothing more than to continue living here. It is unfortunate that our house is literally falling apart at the seams, because we fully intended on staying here until we could purchase a home of our own.
This entire situation is hellish, but at the same time it is refreshingly humbling. There is no reason that I cannot live with a leaky roof or without A/C in 100F+ weather. This is not the worst thing I have ever encountered in my life nor will it define me. So why should I let it over-take my emotions?
The answer is that I shouldn't. The answer is that these situations, when I am not PERFECTLY comfortable, are a blessing. I am learning. I am learning how to do without air, or cable TV, or a dry home. I am learning that I should be beyond grateful to have a home at all. I am learning that nobody gives a crap if I don't have A/C because there are children out there dying from starvation as I type. These are the moments I have waited for my entire life. These are the moments my mother prepared me for. These are the moments that do define me even when I don't want them to. Silly, stupid, inconvenient moments. This is what turns boys into men. This is what humbles an entitled American. This is my savior.
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